We had a good day today. This morning we took Emerson to an indoor playground and he got to ride on a little train. He loved it and it was a good diversion from sitting around the hotel and waiting for our evening visit. I will say I slept very little last night. I could not stop thinking about Isaac and wanting to grab him out of that house and run. I know intellectually that this would be the wrong thing to do, but it is hard to know that my son is in a place where he is not wanted and not loved.
Tonight we went over there for dinner. Our social worker met us there and the four of us played with cars before dinner. (I have not taken any pictures yet because the current family has insisted upon their being no pictures of them. They want to pretend that this stage of his life never happened.) Before dinner his current mother invited me in the kitchen to see his medicine routine. One of the major reasons that this adoption is being disrupted is because the family has chosen to put a three year old on three different psycotrphic drugs. None of which are legal for a child under the age of 4. Unfortunately they are the type of drugs that can not be stopped immediately so we must wait until we get home to work with a doctor to wean him off of them. I watched as the light faded from his eyes and he complacently sat down to dinner. He gobbled up his food, which is extremely common for a child that spent nearly 3 years in an orphanage. Right after dinner he was whisked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He was told to put his PJ's on all by him self and he crawled into bed to pass out in his drug induced daze. When he changes I could see his ribs and malnourishment was clear. Mind you he eats and they feed him well but there is something else that is going on preventing absorption. I stayed with him a moment in his room and rubbed his head and told him good night and that we would see him in the morning.
We talked for a long time after Isaac was in bed and the social worker played with Emerson. I gave them the journal that I am keeping for Isaac and I explained that I have written questions about him that I would appreciate the answers to. I also showed them where there was space to write him a letter and that I planed on giving him the journal when the boys turn 13. They hesitated and I said this was their chance to say their peace. We shall see what they choose to do. I will do the best I can to get as much information as I can for him.
We also grabbed the boxes of his things. Tomorrow I will organize them and ship things home so they will beat us there. We had a good talk with the social worker afterwards. She assured us that off the medicine he will come out of his shell. We are confident that we can nurse him back to health and allow him to be himself.
We are in love with him already and I cannot wait to start the hard work of parenting him. I look into his black eyes and I see his longing for unconditional love. Here is is little man, bring on the healing process.
Tomorrow we get to go to the park in the morning then we will go back over to his house for bathtime and more playing.
Hang in there, it is just a few more days... and then you your love and care will take over. I am wondering if the size 4 clothes we bought are going to be huge on him??? wish we could be there to share the cuddling and hugging with you :-)
ReplyDeleteThis post made me cry! I can't wait for you guys to get him home and show him what a family is suppose to be like. I can't wait to see him run through the house with emerson giggling as they go! You are truly going to have a great time with two energetic boys to love! Hang in there you will have him FOREVER in just a couple more days! Love to you guys! See you soon!
ReplyDeleteWhat a powerful post. My heart aches for him and rejoices all at the same time as he will be in a most loving family. We are so happy that he will soon be yours forever. Stay strong. Faithfully reading your posts! Gena
ReplyDeleteThis is the stuff that tears are made of...there is great sadness in this little guy's life, sounds like someone intervened, thankfully, so that you could "do good in the world" !!! Very proud of your restraint in what must be a difficult situation...will he be leaving other 'siblings' behind???
ReplyDeletenot much longer. . .
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for this little boy Karon. Thank GOODNESS his current parents had the courage to disrupt rather that continuing to hinder and harm him further. And thank goodness for you, that you are there to pick up the pieces, and nurture him back to whole again. You and John and most definitely Emerson too. You all will be amazing in loving him and allowing him the time to heal after so much in his short, precious life.
ReplyDeleteIt was meant to be for Isaac to be in your lives. He will blossom with your love and patience. Hang in there, Jacqueline
ReplyDeleteWow...We are speechless to hear what this dear boy has been going through and can only imagine how difficult it is for you to leave him there, even for only a few more days. In a very short while this will all be behind him and I doubt that Issac will have any permanent memories of these days.
ReplyDeleteAll these years you have been praying and believing for the gift of another child....we can see clearly that Issac is also receiving a gift....the gift of a Mommy, Daddy and brother (a true family) to love and cherish him. This little guy is going to be so loved and have such a wonderful life with your family. John and Karon, you have lived your whole lives in preparation for this special time. It is going to be a pleasure to watch Issac grow up in such a loving home. We are so proud of you both and we will be praying, praying, praying every step of the way.
All our love, Dad & Carol
Wow—quite a post. What a heartbreaking situation, but thank goodness you're in his life. What a gift for both of you. I pray for the healing to begin. You're in our thoughts.
ReplyDeleteKaren and Bob
So glad that soon Isaac will have the unconditional love that he needs. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad situation for that sweet boy to be in. I can't even imagine going through so much to adopt a child and then not providing the love he needs. It sounds like this distruption is absolutely the best thing for him, and it's good that this couple is letting him go. Just a few more days to go!
ReplyDeleteOh Karon what a sad situation for little Isaac. I can see how you are very anxious to get him out of there. You are so strong. I am thinking of you all so much and wishing a speedy ICPC process so you can get him the help he needs and give him a safe, loving, stable home.
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