One week

It is hard to believe that we left Texas only one week ago. We have done a lot this week and have grown closer as a family in immeasurable ways. It has been a busy week, but also one with few major distractions from our most important job right now. Growing closer as a family. We have had some downs, but mostly ups on this important journey.

Isaac comes more and more out of his shell every day. He is pretty easy going most of the time. He throws his fits every once in a while, but it is nothing compared to what Emerson can do. Poor little guy, the fits worked so well in the past and John and I have to try hard not to laugh at his attempts. He had no idea that his brother has really raised the bar on resisting. The good thing for us is that his behavior is easily correctable and we stay calm and collected. So far this works and life moves quickly on.

Another great thing that is going on is that I think Isaac secretly is reading my "Attachment in Adoption" book. He is doing and ask for all the right things. He loves to be comforted in the rocking chair laying his head on my heart. His favorite game in the pool and at the playground is to jump into my arms. What a way to build trust. He loves for me to feed him the last few bites of his meal. Did I mention that he loves to cuddle while reading?

I am also encouraged that he will give hugs to others, but that he does not do it eagerly. This is a good thing for all of those outside of the adoption world. It means that he can discriminate between levels of trust and affection that are appropriate for different types of people in his life. He knows that Emerson loves his Mimi, Grandaddy, cousins aunts and uncles. He is starting to realize that we see them a lot. And he is starting to ask for some of them and get excited when he sees the same face again.

One interesting thing is that when Isaac is making an inaudible grunt (which for now is 75% of the way he communicates) Emerson will tell me "Isaac misses his Mommy and Daddy in Texas." How Emerson knows this and to what degree he comprehends this concept is a mystery to me. It makes sense that he would, but I find in intriguing that this is Emerson's take on the situation some times.

For now, we are getting better and better at juggling the two of them. I have to start doing some things for work next week, then I go back for one week solid. I love my job and I am looking forward to meeting my new kids and getting my classroom set up. I am also extremely nervous as Isaac has bonded with me much quicker than John. I know it will be good for them, but it is going to be a long week of making sure I meet every one's needs.

We are also busy getting ready to close on our new house. Fortunately we will have two houses for a month so we have time to pain and re-finish the hardwood floors.

Baby Steps in the Right Direction

I will say I am tired tonight but I know that it is important to keep writing this blog during our transition to a family of four. We have come a long way in a couple of days home. I know it is not far on this life long jorney but it feels like we have overcome many challenges that have been thrown at us and we are getting better at all of this. Could we really ask for more?

So here is what are some highlights of my observations of our new family:

Yesterday I sparked the biggest meltdown yet by causualy running bath water. Isaac wanted nothing to do with it and ended up as a sobbing mess. We had a long talk about how mommies have to take care of their little boys and part of our job to keep them healthy is to bathe them. We comprimised with a washcloth bath. Then tonight when it came bath time in the routine he asked for a bath and did pretty good. I won't lie and say he liked it, but for him to suggest it was a big move.

Eating: We were told we had to restrict how much we offered him because he would apparently "george" according to his former family. After visiting with the International adopton dr. today she said, let him george as long as it is health food. So tonight he had a peice of toast to calm him while I made dinner, he ate one big bowl of salmon, rice and brocoli and a half of another bowl. When I asked him if he wanted more, he said "no, I want to play now."

Medicine: We will have him off all medicine in three weeks. This is very good stuff.

Sleeping: We still have a way to go, but this is to be expected. Nightime is a scary time for kids like Isaac. He goes to bed great but wakes in the night. Last night he slept on my chest in the rocking chair so sweetly. I think we both needed that time, even though I am dragging today from being up a few hours.

Personal Time: John and I are learning, but getting better. I will say it is easier because I am not back at work yet, and John has not really let his clients know he is home yet.

Brothers: Thanks to Mimi they both have their very own remote control cars and they played so well with them tonight. I feel like they made a lot of progress in enjoying playing with each other today.

Today John and I also got our first and maybe our only big stretch of time with just Isaac. We took him to his big evaluation at the international adoption clinic and Emerson stayed with my mom. It was a nice change to just get to focus on him.

Sure, we still have many boundries to set, and lots more trust to gain, but I at least felt like we were moving in the right direction.

I have rights too. Don't I??

What a day it has been. I wish I could say it was some romantic home coming where I felt like my long awaited family was at home at last. It would be disingenuous though to pretend that this is what happens with a 3 year old is on home/ "family" number four.

The car ride today was as good as one can expect for traveling with two, three year olds and John having to drive on the freeway. (for those who don't know John, he prefers dirt roads and freeways are a from of driving Hell for him.) We made it home around 3PM and we took the time to show Isaac around the house. Emerson was so excited to show Isaac his new room, and Isaac was excited about it as well. Thanks to my sister most of Isaac's things were already there. My Mom had also gotten him cute cars sheets and a couple fun painting for the walls.

Then it came time for what is always a grueling task after a big road trip, we started up packing. I asked the boys to go play in the living room so that we could unpack. I still had to get groceries as our refrigerator was totally empty. About every two minutes there was a shout of "Mommy I need you." I finally stated "Mommy is not available at the minute, try back later."

After two hours of running around, trying to unpack, keep the boys from destroying the house, jumping in to teach the boys up front about how to set boundaries, numerous melt downs over grabbed toys and potty breaks, I wished that someone would stick me in a time out so I could have some peace.

No such luck, because now there was hunger in the mix. So what do I do in my logic void state of mind. I head out the door, hungry, with two three year olds, that are hungry, to the grocery store. BY MYSELF. On the way there Emerson is sobbing because he is upset the library is closed, and Isaac is asking to go back home despite his desire to go to the store mere minutes ago. When we get to the store I am all excited to put them side by side in the fun race car carts. Too bad there were none to be found so I had to wait. Then they proceeded to push, hit and finally lick each other thougout the isles. By the time I got to the beer and cheese I was that mom. The one who has the look like she might crack, but at the same time seems completely oblivious to the outside world.

After getting in the car, John calls and suggest I just go get a pizza because it would be too late to eat by the time we made anything. Has he ordered this magical pizza, NO. So now I have to get the both out of the car, order the pizza and keep the two of them entertained while waiting. Meanwhile I am dreaming of how comfortable the benches at the restaurant look and that maybe I could just wrap up in a table cloth and go to sleep.

So home I rush with the Pizza, we inhale it, then the groceries get put away, now I am going to tackle bed time in a sweet and loving way, because I am the Mom and I am the adult here. Isaac brushes his teeth, goes potty and I start to run the bath. OHH this was not a good idea in Isaac's mind. I got my first site at an Isaac fit. He started sobbing and went boneless. I turned the water off took him to a different room and had the parent talk with him. "Because I am your Mom, I need to help you stay clean and healthy. Part of that is giving you a bath. I love you very much and you are going to be clean before you go to bed...." We compromised with a sponge bath and I now know that we will have to ease into fun bath time with toys.

Then there was bed time. I took Isaac in his room, read him some stories like I have been doing, and kissed him good night. Two minutes later he was sobbing. So, back to the rocking chair we go, with lots of cuddles, more stories and lullabies until his eyes grew heavy. Shurly I am done. Nope it is Emerson's turn for the bed time routine.

This brings me to the post title. John and I have a huge task ahead of us. It is easy to think that because Isaac is three and not a newborn that we don't have that much work to do to adjust to this new way of life. We have a lot. Isaac had a rough night tonight and I am sure it is the first of many. Justifiably so! He has a right to wonder if I am doing the "right" thing by giving him a bath. Not all of the so called "mommies and daddies" in his life knew that in their job description that the easy thing was not always the right thing. Heck, I am even giving him medicine right now and I KNOW it is wrong. (Granted I can't stop it abruptly because that could kill him and I am weeing him off.) We are going to have to go slow with things like baths or potty training. I will have to spend a lot of time with him at bed time to help correct some damaging habits of harmful self soothing techniques he learned from his time in the orphanage. He is going to have to learn that we will always feed him and that we will not take his food away. And also that I am not going to let him shove a whole banana in his mouth at once.

So how do we do all of this, and still be worthwhile people at the end of the day. We have two very amazing boys, that had rough beginnings at no fault of their own. The need us desperately, yet there is only so much one can give before they run out of steam. I am finding myself looking forward to a trip to the bathroom so I can lock the door for a mere moment of "me" time. John and I figured out how to get an hour a day at the hotel of personal time. Now we will have to learn how to do that at home as well. I am finding my self setting up boundaries that I never did when it was just Emerson. I am asking the boys to go play, or look at a book, or try to fix it themselves. I know in the long run this is good for them. At the same time, I know they both need me so much right now.

It is going to be a steep learning curve. I am sure happy that I have so many great resources out there.

Homeward Bound

I think I accedientaly gave people the impression that we made it home last night. As tempting as it was to go the whole way, the 11 hours of drive time would have certinaly pushed a majority of us over the edge. We did drive from Dallas to Jackson, MS and arrived at our hotel at 7pm.

The boys did suprizingly well. Yes, Emerson wanted me to do something with the DVD player about every 5 min. Isaac is not that into the DVD player so he wanted me to play peak-a-boo with him. All in all, I think "Mama" or "Mommy" was said somewherer close to 2,000 times. Suprizingly they only asked for Daddy two or three times. How John managed to swing that I am not sure.

Today is the big day that Isaac will see that what I mean by goiong home is not the same thing he is thinking. I explain to him each time that he is getting a new room and a new house. It will be interesting to see how he reacts when he really sees what I mean.

It also is the point where I get to go back to the real world. While John unpacks I will take the boys to the grocery store and library. Monday we will take Isaac to his big Dr. appointment, Tuesday John will go to the home inspection for our new house. We have loads to do before we can close on the house. I also need to take Isaac's IEP paperwork to the school district so that he can start school as soon as he is emotionaly ready. Add to that I need to get both the boys school supplies.

I am also going to go back to school for the first week to get my classroom set up and make sure my sub, and teaching teams are all on the same page. It is going to be a crazy few weeks. Fortunately I will then have about a month to get the familiy adjusted to the school schedule, the new house, and hopefuly Isaac's health on the right track.

Bitter Sweet

Hello to all of our followers. We just received wonderful news that the ICPC has been granted and that we are free to leave the great state of Texas. We also received great news that the UAB international adoption clinic will be able to see Isaac on Monday. I am beyond thrilled and I feel very fortunate and lucky. I will be honest. I was one cranky Mama bear this morning. Last night I slept like a baby, I woke up every 30 min and cried. Well not really cried but worried. For those who know me well, you know that worrying is one of my greatest talents. Thanks Dad for passing along this trait.

This morning I drug my bottom out of bed and was hankering to start bugging officials at 5:30 am. If only I had home numbers, I would have done it. I waited until 8:01 am. I must have called 15 different people. Mind you while I am trying to explain why I need this paperwork to clear I have Emerson shouting in the background "I miss my Mimi."

So why the title to the post? Let me start by saying that this spring my mom suffered from a series of strokes that left her out of commission for almost a month. For those who know my mom, this was a big deal, as my mom is always the one helping others and my dear sweat dad. This was probably the first major time in their lives that people were able to pay Mom back for all she had done for them. When Mom was too sick to eat, her friends and neighbors showed their love for her by caring for my dad. When she got home people came to sit with her so Dad could go to book club or play golf. Yesterday when I spoke to Mom, she told me she had a good day because she made food for two families in need. She was so happy that she felt well enough to began to give again. She said she always did it because it was the right thing, but now she knows just how special it is to receive help when you are down.

The reason my happiness is bitter sweet today is that there are 10 children that weigh heavy on my heart, while I hold my two boys here with me. They are all from Taraz Kazakhstan and have families from several countries that have gone through all of the steps to adopt them. Unfortunately politics have put blinders on the judges in this region who are legislating from the bench. Their adoptions have been denied. Today I am asking all of my loyal readers to consider joining the Taraz Ten cause. I am pasting the information below. How joining the cause helps is by showing the US state department that enough people care about these 10 kids and the plight of orphans that this issue should make their to do list. If not for me or these families, think of Emerson and how easily this could be him stuck in this situation. Please click on the link provided and join. Also, if you happen to be close with anyone who ranks high in the state department like Hillary Clinton they would love to get in a personal call:)

Eight families have spent months in Taraz, Kazakhstan, attempting to adopt 10 orphaned children who were offered for foreign adoption by the government of Kazakhstan. After the families spent months bonding with the children, judges have ruled that problems with documentation at the baby house prevent the judges from approving the adoptions. This consigns the children to orphanages, possibly for their entire childhoods, when they should have been in loving homes months ago. By joining this group, you will state your support for these families and for the placement of orphaned children in stable families rather than institutional care.
http://www.causes.com/causes/503597/about?m=39e28576

As I have stated earlier in my blog: One of my core values is that every child deserves a loving and safe family. This keeps me up at night, it bring me to tears when I hear of injustice towards children. My family is complete to my knowledge but I promise to not forget the sweet faces I have seen along the way, the kids left behind, those in orphanages, group homes and our foster system. I hope that somehow our story and our two boys will inspire change that so desperately needs to take place.

More Pics

 

 

 

 

Fun Times in Dallas

 

 

 

 

Bureaucracy and Purgatory

Our social worker said it best when she told our agency, Asking Karon and John to hang out at a hotel in suburbia is like dropping most people off in the wilderness. None the less we are managing but enough is enough already.

So what is the hold up you might ask? I too would like to know. Here is what I understand of this whole mess. When you adopt a child in the US from a state other than your own you are subject to a law called ICPC. It was written back in the 60's to prevent one state from dumping its foster kids one a less restrictive state. Unfortunately the folks who wrote the law didn't recognize that private adoptions are completely different. Anyway: the law states that we can not leave Isaac's state until our agencies state (Oregon) and the receiving state (Alabama) agree that we are an acceptable family and that all laws in both states have been followed.

What is happening is that the person who needed to give our agency the information on what they needed to give Alabama was not in until Friday of last week. Then on Friday at the end of the day they asked for 6 pieced of documentation. On Monday Alabama received all of that documentation. Then they decided they wanted about 10 more pieces of information which they received today. Then at the end of the day they wanted one more piece. Wouldn't one think that they have a list but no, this is Alabama we are talking about.

Today I did talk to Senator French's office again and they did put me in touch with the people who work with DHR and the ICPC office. I was assured they would be looking into our case and that I would receive a call back before the end of the day. But guess what, they never called. So tomorrow I will be calling again and hopefully progress will be made.

I am sure all of my loyal readers are disappointed in this post. It is the not so sexy part about adoption: paperwork, laws, clearances, bureaucracy and purgatory. What amazes me is that somehow bad people manage to make it through this process. What infuriates me is that those people make it that much harder for families to come together through adoption.

I will hopefuly get a moment to post some about our family and post pictures in the morning. Thanks for reading.

Similarites and Differences

I can still remember the conversation John and I had on August 29, 2006 when we decided to adopt. We had decided to live life that summer not thinking about how our family would be created after two heart breaking years of failure. That night (or morning) John came home after working on a wild fire in the mountains behind our house in Eastern Oregon. John worked for the BLM at that time and a wildfire crew had gotten lost at night at the same time that the fire blew up and began to surround the crew. John was asked to navigate the roads because he knew them better than the big wigs. He spent the night driving through the wilderness with two men who we don't even know their names. What happened though is that they shared with John that they had adopted their whole families. Somehow that night, those two men, coupled with rescuing a whole crew of fire fighters lit something in John. He came home knowing that we could be loving adoptive parents. (I had come to this conclusion earlier, but we agreed that we had to both be %100 in agreement before moving forward.)

Now what... We spent almost two months knowing that we wanted to adopt, but which way was the huge question. At first we assumed we would adopt domestically, but quickly we realized that was not a path we felt comfortable with. I was not at a stage in my life where we could have our hearts put on the line over and over again at the risk of a birth mother changing her mind. I also knew that the foster-adoption program in Oregon had some serious flaws that we were very uncomfortable with.

With all that said, I find it ironic that we are now in a strange hybrid international/domestic adoption of Isaac. Here are my observations about the similarities and differences between Emerson and Isaac's adoptions.

Similarities:
1. Both times we stayed in hotels/apartments that are very small, but support very close quarters for family bonding.

2. There are about as many people who speak English in our hotel here as there were in Kaz. Unfortunately they don't speak Russian so I am less of a conversationalist here then there.

3. Adoption paperwork is a pain in the butt regardless of where you do it and what language it is in.

Differences:
1. We don't have lots of friends going through the process with us. When we were in Kaz we knew other adoptive families and we supported each other through the process.

2. Texas is not nearly as culturally engaging as Kazakhstan.

3. It is a whole lot easier to drive to Texas rather than fly to Kaz.

4. We do not have to deal with USCIS

5. We do not have to deal with airlines and travel agents.

6. It only took 6 days to get custody of Isaac rather than months.

Yes we are still dealing with AL's DHR requesting all sorts of random paperwork. Tomorrow hopefully my Senator can get them to stop adding to the list every time we give them another piece of paperwork.

Yesterday I had the absolute joy of having Isaac fall asleep in my lap. There is something special about a child trusting one enough to do this. Does this mean he loves me, or knows that I am his forever Mom, probably not. What it does mean is that he trust me. In the adoption world, this is a necessary first step. This little boy has had a life of adults letting him down. He is sweet, loving, adorable, playful and all of the wonderful things a three year old should be. I am honored to be trusted and I look forward to the day that "Mommy" and "Daddy" won't just be our names to him. I know that it will take a long time. I know that there will be real grief that will surface for him, and that he will have days or even weeks when he will push away to see if we will stick with him. But for two night now he has not asked to put his shoes on at bed time so that he could go "home."

As the adoptive parents of a toddler I acknowledge it will be months if not longer before Isaac knows we are his family forever and what that even means. In the mean time it is our job to teach him what Mom's, Dad's and Brother's are. It is his job to believe in us. Tonight as I put him to bed I thanked him for allowing us to be his parents and I promised him as I do every night that we will always love him no matter what happens.

Fun with the boys

 

 

 

 

Always look on the bright side of life ...

Today is Monday and Monday means business takes place again. When one is in the midst of an adoption weekends are not that special. In fact they are the time when every piece of paper stands still. So today came two important pieces of information. We received a 25 page fax confirming the offer on the house was accepted. This was the good paperwork news. Then there was an e-mail from our agency about the ICPC process.

It turns out that Alabama, the big conservative pro-life state wants a long list of documentation before they will grant us permission to leave the great state of Texas. This list includes strait forward things like our homestudy, the disruption agreement, termination of parental rights, the transition plan and documentation that we revived all of Isaac's records and information. These things our agency has. No big deal. On the other hand the also wanted information about birth parents. HELLO, DHR he is from China and was found by a police officer like most orphans there. Also his eligibility to be considered an orphan on the Hague treaty is a USCIS issue and he would not have been issued a visa without this information. But hey, what is another piece of paper. Then they wanted a written report from the social worker in Texas about how our transition visits went with Isaac. No big deal. Our social worker was with us throughout the whole process and is so happy for the outcome of this potentially disastrous situation. Of course it will take her time to get this written up. The next thing they wanted is for our homestudy to be addended saying that we have experience parenting a child with Isaac's "kind of issues." Ok this is where my Mama bear instincts take over. First off my new little guy was NEVER the one with the issues. He is three. Three year olds are a product of their environment. His former parents had a choice, disrupt or be disrupted because they expected a 3 year old boy who survived orphanage life with a cleft palet and returned home with serious food allergies and parasites, to be just like their biological daughter and sit in the corner and color quietly while they went about life as normal.

Yes John and I have over 40 hours of adopting parenting education. We both have taken child development and psychology classes. We both have worked in the field of therapeutic recreation and worked with kids who have committed haneous crimes. We attend a monthly adoption support where we receive incredible support from other amazing adoptive parents and social workers. We have a son who is already in early intervention. ALL OF THIS IS IN OUR HOMESTUDY ALREADY. But no, they need a $250 addendum that will take a week to get piece of paper to say that again.

With all that said, it looks like Dallas is our home at least until the end of the week. Fortunately we received two nights free at the Marriott due to our door breaking and having to move to another room. We still have $200 worth of gift cards for the Hyatt and we might move back there at the end of the week.

So what is the bright side you might ask?

Here is what is good about life in a hotel:

1. Complimentary breakfast and dinner (M-Tr) It is nice. Not the food I would make at home but hey it is nice.

2. The dinner comes with drinks which makes the room not seem so small after all.

3. Our room is magically cleaned everyday. I wish for this at home but it comes with lots of scolding from my husband who does not appreciate the title of Maid on his buiess card.

4. We get to go swimming every day and only steps from our door. It is a small quiet pool that we usually get to ourselves. Swimming is a great bonding activity and Isaac is coming leaps and bounds in the pool. Emerson also swam across the pool the short way today by himself.

5. We truly are able to bond much better without the distractions of life at home. Yes, John has 21 orders waiting on him. We have a house to close on. I have the school year starting soon. Isaac needs to get to the doctor ASAP for numerous reasons. But really us all loving each other is the most important step right now. Do I wish that we were in a mountain cabin or camping at the beach to accomplish this task. Sure. But the most important things is that this we are learning how to be a family.

So for now we continue to explain to government officials that we truly are parents to this little boy who has been through so much. That we will love him unconditionally. I recognize that there are horrible "adoption gone wrong stories" that make agencies skid dish and paperwork needy, but when is enough, enough? Hopeful we can leave this weekend. Hopefully..

Lots of new things to learn

So I will say, we have been mentally preparing ourselves to adopt a toddler for almost three years. We did not have any desire to adopt and infant again. We were thrilled to have the experience with Emerson so that we could watch all the stages of development a young child takes. We also acknowledged that there were many "older" kids in the world who also needed parents to open the hearts to them.

Now, here we are with a new three year old, but there are things to take into consideration. For instance while Isaac is about 3 years and 6 months old (I say about because his birth date is an estimate) there are factors that make him seem much younger. When we traveled here we fully expected his development to be where Emerson was this time last year and we were right. The biggest delays come from life in an institution. They say that for every 4 months in an institution a child is one month delayed. Isaac spent 33 months in an orphanage so you subtract 8 months. Then you add in time in an extremely stressful environment in his last home, where little to no intellectual stimulus was provided and he was actually medicated into submission. The next set back was his cleft palate was huge and not repaired until January so he has only had the chance to learn to form most sounds since then. Add to that he had significant hearing loss due to fluid in his ears that was also only corrected this January.

What amazes me is that despite all of this, he is now running, laughing, saying many "words" loving story time, climbing towers and giving hugs. The resilience of this age is amazing. I fully expect him to catch up over the next two years.

Now the tricky part for us in learning how to manage to two of them. Here are some observations that I thought would be good to note during these early days of parenting twins:

1. For now when onlookers ask if they are twins, I simply answer yes. Not necessarily to avoid the question but because one of them is usually running off and the conversation must end.

2. I have learned that Isaac sticks close to me (for now) As a result, I must put Emerson in his car seat, then put Isaac in. The same is true for unloading. Isaac gets out first, then Emerson.

3. Emerson is a quick study. Isaac eats like an orphan. He gobbles every grain of food. If some falls off his plate he quickly gets it for fear of me throwing it away. I am told that he will eat until he throws up, so I must moderate his intake because he will not. Emerson on the other hand is on the nomad diet. He eats a bite, wonders around a bit then takes another bite. Today at lunch, I told Emerson he could not go swimming unless he cleared his plate. He said "here you go Isaac" and Ta Da plate was cleared. Both boys were very happy with themselves for this mutually beneficial relationship.

4. Little boys in a small hotel room can make walls start closing in.

5. Both boys last night refused to take their shoes off at bed time. Isaac told me again last night that he wanted to go "home" I had to explain that that was not an option and why. We cuddled a long time and then he was Ok with staying. Then Emerson did the same thing. Why? I asked, "Because I want to show Isaac my Choo, Choo trains and take him to meet Mimi."

6. A parent of multiples must always carry a hands free bag with many goodies at all times.

7. Swimming with the two of them without John around is going to be interesting. Fortunately Isaac holds on. Emerson on the other hand will tell me through bubbling gurgling noise that he does not want my help.

I am sure many more revelation will surface as we move into the new normal. What I know mostly is that John and I are two luck people for having such wonderful boys wonder into our lives. We feel that Emerson chose us three years ago in Uralsk, Kazakshtan while we were chosen especial for Isaac. I hope that they feel the same way when they grow up.

For now we are still in Texas and wondering why Isaac was not in Vermont. We will hopefully hear back about whether we have permission to leave. Unfortunately our social worker will no be in her office until 12:00 so the earliest will will get to leave will probably be Tuesday morning. I am ready to go back home.

A hard but necessary step

Tonight we took the final step in the formal transitioning process of transferring Isaac from his life here in Texas to his life with us. I won't lie, we had a bad attitude about this step. We were ready to move on with our lives, we were afraid of taking even one tiny step back today. We recognized the importance of this step for Isaac's previous family, yet to be honest, while I am sad for them in many ways, I can't put my self in their shoes. I wonder if this is what it is like when birth mothers meet the adoptive mothers. For me this is even harder because these people wanted this child enough to go through endless amounts of adoption paperwork, wait for years and travel half way around the world to bring him home. There was no accident or mistake in bringing them to their lives.

Regardless of all of this tonight I saw love in the goodbye room. I saw it in each of their eyes, there were tears with all of the adults, fortunately Isaac did not understand much. At the end we promised them that we would take good care of Isaac and his former mother and father told him the loved him and that they were sorry and passed him to us wishing us all the greatest joy in our future.

Yes it was hard on so many levels, but we never assumed things would be easy. I am happy to have witnessed this sad moment because now I can tell Isaac the truth. His Texas family loved him as much as they knew how. Yes he will have a year that will be a blur in his past. Our love with not negate that, but hopefully it will provide him with a balance of the ups and downs of life.

On a different note, I am happy to say that the folks at the UAB international adoption clinic are amazing. They have set up his team appointment for August 4th and they e-mailed me a plan to ween him off of one of the medications.

As far as the ICPC agreement between the two states, I am assuming it did not happen today so we are here through the weekend and we will hopefully find out that we can leave on Monday.

New shoes and nature time

We have had a good day so far. Isaac has been a trouper and Emrson is such a good brother. When we were at the park this morning, John took Emerson to pee and Emerson gave John and big hug and said "I love my new brother Isaac." Isaac is consistantly using the potty, eating everything like a champ, sticks close by and loves getting hugs. Right now he is fighting his nap but at least he is getting a rest. The hard thing is going to be tonight. His old familiy comes by tonight to say goodbye. I arranged the hotel meeting room for them to have some alone time with him. I just hope it all goes well. If not that is Ok too. I am the Mom now and if I need to pick up the peicies that is in my job description :)

The big excitment for the day was going to REI and I splurged and got the boys matching Keens. Those who know me, realize this was a big deal for me. Also shoes are a big deal for orphans and I want my boys to always have good shoes and good beds. Not to mention the shoes he came with were so big he was constantly running out of them.

I will love you forever and I'm never gonna give you up...

What an afternoon it has been. My heart has lept, I have hugged, I have kissed, I have cuddled, I have cried, I have feed, bathed read to and attempted to explain why my new little boy can't go back home tonight. How does one explain to a three year old that your adopted family couldn't love you, because they were in love with an idea of a child that is unrealistic. How do I explain to him that the drugs these people put him on have put him in jeopardy so that they did not have to experience the trauma a three year old with a cleft pallet has experienced by life in an institution? How do I assure him when he points to the door that, really this is the best thing for you, this time it will work, third time is a charm, we won't let you go, we won't let you down?

We went to pick up Isaac after lunch and had an awkward transition due to an angry wasp nest at the door that caused us to have to hastily open and shut the door a million times to shuffle his last belongings into our car. We first went to Target to pick up diapers. Emerson melted down in the store, Isaac did just great. I acknowledge that Emerson's melt downs are all about making sure that he is getting equitable attention, but it would be lovely if he picked a new strategy soon.

We then went back to the hotel in which a attempted to have them take a nap. They quietly laid in bed, but when I heard them an hour later and asked them if they took a nap they booth sweetly said "no."

The social worker came by and visited for about an hour and we had a great talk. I also heard from the agency and they said that the ICPC might all be through by tomorrow, which means we could leave this weekend. If not it will be next week. My sister and I also did a lot of work today on lining up appointments with the international adoption clinic at UAB. This litte boy needs to get off these meds fast.

We had a good time at dinner and afterwards we played board games, did puzzles, played with bubbles and raced cars. I gave the boys a bath together and then we read stories. All the while Isaac kept putting his shoes back on and pointed at the door over and over again. He had such a look of fear and sadness in his eyes when I tucked him in. I look forward to the shift in that look, but it will take time. Good thing we have the rest of our lives.

On another great note, we found out today that the offer we put on the house was accepted. What a good week.

Today is the big day

Yesterday's trial run went beautifully, yet I acknowledge that this all must be very surreal for Isaac. When we returned to "his" house yesterday we were greeted with three trash bags of things on the walk that looked like they might be his things, we were later told it was "trash" but that they were getting rid of anything that reminded them of him. Then on the other hand he skipped up to the door in excitement. My heart did not know what to make of the situation. It is wonderful developmentally that he associates home as a good place and that he was overjoyed to see his other mother. At the same time it sparked a sense of rage in me that these people have violated that innocence of trust. I worry that when Isaac realizes what has happened if some of that innocence will be robbed from him? Will he look at us as the ones who took him away from the familiar? How do you explain to a three year old all the intricacies of poor choices and unrealistic expectations of adults?

Yesterday I just kept telling him that we were his forever family, and that meant that we would love him forever, no matter what. He looks at us with those huge black eyes, not with trust yet, but with curiosity and a question. This is good from an attachment perspective, yet it is so unfair to him that he is in the situation of having to do such work at such a young age.

At "his" house we packed his new red suitcase with all of his clothes for the next week. It was a bazaar assortment on winter and summer things, but hey they are familiar to him. We left him there for his last night with a promise to be back tomorrow (now today) after lunch.

The original plan was that he would come to the hotel and stay with us tonight and then on Friday afternoon we would take him back there to say his final goodbyes. On the ride home though John and I both felt that would not be the best thing for Isaac to return there for 30min only to leave again. We felt it would be more appropriate for the family to meet us at the hotel or a neutral place. We called the social worker to propose this idea and she talked to them about it. Their initial response was NO. It had to be at their place. This saddened us because once again, the "adults" were making decisions based on what was easiest for them, not the child. John and I talked about it and we recognized that due to Isaac's age the goodbye was really for the other family, and we were only being asked to do it one time. We could concede but we were not happy about it to say the least because we felt it would actually be a step back for Isaac. Fortunately they called the social worker back and agreed to meet us at the hotel to say their final goodbyes.

Who knows how today will go. It is a very different gotcha day then I envisioned for the last three years, and it is exactly what it is supposed to be. It is the start of something beautiful, something hard, something worthwhile something that will be in our lives and hearts forever. We love you little Isaac, thank you for coming into our lives. We will do everything we can to help you grow, thrive, love and be loved.

Transitioning like a Champ

Today was a big day for us. It is the first day that we got to take Isaac out with just us. We moved hotels early this morning so that we could show Isaac the hotel where he will be staying with us until our paperwork clears. John also went to UPS and shipped three boxes of Isaac's things so that they will be in his room when we get home.

We went over to Isaac's house, and due to the excitement of it all, and the fact that things were different today than the last few days, Emerson completely melted down. He could not understand why we did not need to bring all the cars into play. No matter how hard we tried to explain that "today we are going to pick up Isaac so he can spend the day with us" he just did not get it.

So Emerson melted down while Isaac calmly gathered the things he needed for today and watched John put his car seat in our car. Once we got in the car, we stopped and took a moment to recognize that we had two beautiful boys with us. Isaac was quite but would point out things that interested him along the way. Emerson was beside himself with excitement. Once we got to the hotel I got them dressed to go swimming. Mind you, we have been told that Isaac is terrified of the water and that he has only been to the pool 3 times and every time he hated it. So we were hoping for the best. Maybe he is trying to please, but he held on to me and he let me play with him in the water. We never tried to get him to put his head in and he is not a fan of water in his face, but all in all he did great.

After swimming we came back and I made a simple meal of broccoli and salmon poached in chicken broth with couscous and he ate it like a champ. Then I read Curious George Stories to both of the boys and they are now "taking a nap" or at least it is very quiet in there. I do not know if we are getting a honeymoon period, or if he is in a daze from the drugs, or if he is nervous, but he is an absolute pleasure right now. I know it will take him a few weeks to trust and open up but so far so good for now.

Morning at the Park

We had a lovely morning at the park as a family. We met up with them at the park and it was so nice to run around outside and play with the boys. Emerson brought a bunch of small cars and they raced them down the slide. It was so nice to catch Isaac at the bottom of the slide as an excuse to pick him up and cuddle with him. He is so frail, but like I said yesterday I feel good about our ability to tackle those issues.

Also, thank you all for your sweet comments. It means the world to us to know that so many of you believe in us and this little guy. We are truly blessed.

I want to bring him home NOW

We had a good day today. This morning we took Emerson to an indoor playground and he got to ride on a little train. He loved it and it was a good diversion from sitting around the hotel and waiting for our evening visit. I will say I slept very little last night. I could not stop thinking about Isaac and wanting to grab him out of that house and run. I know intellectually that this would be the wrong thing to do, but it is hard to know that my son is in a place where he is not wanted and not loved.

Tonight we went over there for dinner. Our social worker met us there and the four of us played with cars before dinner. (I have not taken any pictures yet because the current family has insisted upon their being no pictures of them. They want to pretend that this stage of his life never happened.) Before dinner his current mother invited me in the kitchen to see his medicine routine. One of the major reasons that this adoption is being disrupted is because the family has chosen to put a three year old on three different psycotrphic drugs. None of which are legal for a child under the age of 4. Unfortunately they are the type of drugs that can not be stopped immediately so we must wait until we get home to work with a doctor to wean him off of them. I watched as the light faded from his eyes and he complacently sat down to dinner. He gobbled up his food, which is extremely common for a child that spent nearly 3 years in an orphanage. Right after dinner he was whisked into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He was told to put his PJ's on all by him self and he crawled into bed to pass out in his drug induced daze. When he changes I could see his ribs and malnourishment was clear. Mind you he eats and they feed him well but there is something else that is going on preventing absorption. I stayed with him a moment in his room and rubbed his head and told him good night and that we would see him in the morning.

We talked for a long time after Isaac was in bed and the social worker played with Emerson. I gave them the journal that I am keeping for Isaac and I explained that I have written questions about him that I would appreciate the answers to. I also showed them where there was space to write him a letter and that I planed on giving him the journal when the boys turn 13. They hesitated and I said this was their chance to say their peace. We shall see what they choose to do. I will do the best I can to get as much information as I can for him.

We also grabbed the boxes of his things. Tomorrow I will organize them and ship things home so they will beat us there. We had a good talk with the social worker afterwards. She assured us that off the medicine he will come out of his shell. We are confident that we can nurse him back to health and allow him to be himself.

We are in love with him already and I cannot wait to start the hard work of parenting him. I look into his black eyes and I see his longing for unconditional love. Here is is little man, bring on the healing process.

Tomorrow we get to go to the park in the morning then we will go back over to his house for bathtime and more playing.

The First Meeting

We did it. We got to meet our new little one. I will say, one thing I know many adoptive parents question is whether or not to bring their current children with them when they meet their new child. Our meeting with Isaac was wonderful tonight but I will say it was tough managing Emerson's excitment with our desire to get to know Isaac. Then add to the mix a social worker and his current parents and it was interesting and overwhelming all at once. Before we went to his house the social worker came over and visted with us about Isaac and also discussed the week's plans. She also talked about what she felt would benifit Isaac as far as parenting styles. She went over to their house first and then we went to Target and got Isaac a Lightning McQueen car just like Emerson's and flowers for the family. When we arived Isaac recognized us from the pictures. Emerson was wound to the hilt and was totaly wild with excitment. He gave Isaac the car and Isaac called us Mommy and Daddy while pointing to the pictures we had sent him. I got down on the floor and played with the two boys while John talked to the father. Then John got on the floor and played with both of them while I talked to the mother. He is a wonderful little boy. He is smaller than Emerson and very skinny. He spent 2 years 8 months in an orphanage with a dairy alergy, so he is frail. All in good time he will be strong. He gave us hugs and did not cry once. He knows lots of words but has a hard time with pronunciation due to the cleft palet (it has only been repaired for 3 months.) Poor Emerson, when it came time to leave he just did not understand. He kept saying, "you come back home with me" "We came here to pick up my new brother." He then in true Kazakh Warrior style threw a temper tandrum that will be hard to match. John just calmly removed him from the room. We talked to the social worker after we left and she said his current family felt very good about our ability to parent Isaac. I just can't wait to get him all to our selves. It is hard to see him there. They don't like to feed him anything because it makes him "hyper" and his room is completely bear. The house does not have one kids book and there were only two toys for him to play with. All in good time. Tomorrow we go over for dinner and by Thursday he is comming to stay with us. Friday he will say his final good byes. It is all a bit sureal to me, as we spend more time with him it will sink in. I will say that we are truly the luckies most blessed people in the world. I am so thankful that the universe has unfolded perfectly. Tomorrow I will try and get some pictures of the boys playing. Tonight it would have been too akward.

Today is the Day

Lots of good stuff has gone on since I last wrote. On Friday night we had our good friends Mark, Danette and their daughter (from the same region as Isaac) come by and visit. They brought Emerson and Isaac matching Thomas outfits which broought on another flurry of motherhood emotions. Emerson was so excited that he insisted on putting the outfit on then and there. I have yet to get it off of him.

The other big thing was that the social worker from Texas called me. We talked for about an hour. She sounds wonderful and she knows the family and Isaac. It was so wonderful to speak with her. He sounds wonderful and much of the situation is exactly what we had susspected. One thing she did say was that the first meeting would be on Tuesday the 13th. WHAT, we moved everything up because we had been told Monday the 12th. It turns out the agency had arranged for things on Monday the 13th. Oops. So as we were driving yesterday she asked if we would be OK doing the first meeting Sunday night.

So tonight is the night. We only have 3 more hours to go. It looks like we will get to Dallas in time to watch the world cup final, get the boy a nap and go meet our new son. All in a day. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Now if I could only get some sleep. I know I desperately need it. For some reason my brain thinks it should solve the problems of the world at 2am.

The ohter cute thing is that this morning I asked Emerson, like I always do, if he had any dreams. He normaly tells me he dreamed about going "Night Night." Today he told me he dreamed about his new brother Isaac.

Emotions Galore

I know that pregnant women talk all of the time about finding them selves emotional at the drop of a hat. It is attributed to pregnancy hormones so I don't get that excuse right now. What I do know is that certain things bring tears of elation, awe, blessing and happiness to my eyes at the drop of a hat.

Take last night. John and I went out for our last date night for a while. Add to that the person I am. There are two core values that my life revolves around.

1. I believe that every child (or adult for that matter) deserves a loving safe home and family, regardless of the situation they were born into.

2. I believe that all children/people have the right to a quality education regardless of gender, race, economic status, nationality, that empowers and fulfills them.

Last night these two ideals coalesced at The Red Cat coffee house in downtown Birmingham. Our dear friends held a benefit concert for "Grade International" This guy leads treks in Nepal, and he has started an orphanage/school for the unadoptable kids of the street.

One of the songs they played ends with "I hope you hear my Lord everyday. Although I may not get down on my knees and pray. I tell you this one thing for sure, there is reverence in my laughter Lord everyday." All of this came together with the word "Laughter" which is what Isaac means. Tears again, but the good kind.

Today I also received this e-mail from Isaac's current family
"We received your picture book for Isaac. He has been looking at the pictures since he got it yesterday. His favorite pictures are of his new mom, dad, and Emerson. He hugs pictures of his new family several times a day. He can hardly wait to meet you all!" ... tears and laughter followed. There is reverence in my laughter.

We are slowly packing things up and John is putting the roof rack on the car as we speak. Emerson insist on bringing his red suitcase for all outings today just in case we are really leaving yet. Sometimes it is easier to let the three year old have their way:) I put Isaac's booster seat at the table and Emerson immediately moved their chair's side by side.

Tomorrow's "Plan" it to leave early and either stop to watch the 3rd place game for the world cup or get a hotel early. I am willing to sacrifice that game to make it to TX in time for the final. Who knows. With all things in our life there are plans, and then there is what happens. Rarely are the two similar, but it all works out just as it should.

The Countdown
Days until we leave: none
Days until we meet him: 2
Days until he comes to stay with us: 7

Do not Kiss the Fed Ex Woman ...

In the world of adoption, the Fed Ex delivery person is like Santa Clause. It took a lot of restraint not to tackle the Fed Ex woman who arrived at 9:00am with our "baby" of paperwork:) I received all the legal mumbo jumbo for the agency handling this adoption. I diligently read through all of it before I opened a sealed package that held many of Isaac's personal affects. It had a baby album that was from his orphanage in China, his Chinese passport, his US passport and other important documents. I just can't wait to meet him.

As we get closer I am getting more and more nervous about interacting with his current family. It is just going to be weird on so many levels. This is one of those times in life though where I just have to be the adult, put on a good face and suck it up. Yes it will be awkward but it is the best thing for this little boy. My Mama bear tendencies will have to play nice, learn as much as I can for his sake and know that we are talking about a 5-6 day transition before he will come back to our hotel to stay with us. We have the rest of our lives with him. We can handle 6 days.

There is so much more I want to share, but time is tight right now. John and I are going on a date tonight because we will not be able to leave Isaac with anyone for a while. So tonight is our night on the town. But first I need to make the next Fed Ex delivery drop.

Oh and I almost forgot the count down:)
1.5 days until we leave (you know you are an adict when you put in .5 days:)
3 days until we meet him
8 days until he comes to stay with us.

Sad news for Kaz Families

I try very hard to recognize that even our darkest moments are for a reason. I truly believe that where one door closes a window opens. In light of that, recent events in Kazakhstan, I find deplorable and tragic.

In one region in Southern Kazakhstan nine families were denied their petition to adopt. Today (or last night for us) four of them had their appeals heard. All 4 were told "No." They were told "No" because the courts felt that the baby house did not show the children to enough Kazakh families first. Mind you there is not a number of families but a time limit, and there is currently no established procedure for how to document this.

My heart is sick for families who have been there, bonding with their children for 6-8 months. My heart aches for the kids who are caught in this mess. There is not another family waiting for them as far as I know. It is likely that agencies will stop working there and that these kids will remain trapped under political ideology. Please know that this is not just a Kazakhstan issue. We have the same thing here in the US. It can take years of a kid being tossed around in the foster system to become available for adoption. Even then we mess the process up regularly.

Come on world. There are over 125 million orphans in the world! This is one way that as of civilization of human beings we have failed. It is completely unacceptable to me that more and more barriers are being put in place. What happens to those left behind is unimaginable to most of us. It is not pleasant to think of the prostitution, child labor, suicide rates, imprisonment...

How do we explain to these kids who are dumped on the streets at 16 that there were people who wanted them, who prayed for them, who made rooms for them, sewed quilts, who dreamed of their future? How do we say, "sorry" your government failed you.

It is an outrage of unspeakable proportion. It makes me think of the quote that brings me to tears to my eyes ever time I look at the Two Hearts for Hope web site... "Sometimes I would like to ask God why he allows poverty, famine, and injustice when he can do something about it, but I am afraid he might ask me the same thing."

The News of the Day

Well now that the holiday weekend is over we were able to take care of some much needed business that can't happen on the weekends.

The fist thing we did is put an offer on a house with 6.5 aces. We have been looking at it all week but our Realtor was out of town so we had to wait until today to formally offer. Now we have a new waiting game. I just hope they don't play it too long because I want to take care of all of that before we leave. Yet again another exercises in trust is upon us.

When we got back home I called the agency who is placing Isaac and we discussed the plan a little more. We are waiting on some papers from his current family, so that we can get our paperwork to sign, notarize and copy before we can leave.

She also said that we can do our first visit on July 12th instead of the 13, so we might just leave on Saturday rather than Sunday.

I also called DHR to check on the progress of our child abuse clearance. It has gone through and is sitting on our social worker's desk awaiting her return. All things are falling into place so nicely. It is helping me trust this process as I watch it all unfold.

We also got the room arranged. It feels weird to have a room without bedding or books on the shelf. I did hang a world map in there and I put up some car decals on the wall. We will use his current bedding and toys to fill it once he is here. Most likely we will ship his stuff as soon as possible. Maybe even some loving family member will even be willing to unpack the boxes so that it will all be set up for him when we arrive.

Updated Countdown:
3 days until we leave
5 days until we meet him
10 days until he comes to stay with us

Spinning my Wheels

Last night I read my Attachment in Adoption book until way too late. All really good stuff, but not so great when I woke up at 5:30 with the burgeoning list of things to do. Yes, we have a lot to do between now and Sunday but motivating to do it is proving tough for both of us. John needs to do so much for the business but can't concentrate to save his life because he just wants to scoop up Isaac right now and begin our life as a family of 4. One great thing that happened today was a gift of a week at the Marriott Suits while we are there. This will help us out so much.

We also picked up a bed that we will be able to use until we officially put together a room for the boys in a few months.

Emerson and I went for a nice swim and John is in the process of putting together a room.

Here is what I learned new about Isaac today. He is from Zhuhai City in the Guandong Province. This is on the very southern coast of China. His Chinese name was Zhu Zheng Yang. Zhu= Wish Zheng= Strong. We have not decided yet about his middle name.

Here is the Countdown:
5 Days until we leave
7 days until we meet him
12 days until he comes to stay with us

Some information

I remember when watching the movie The Notebook they young man falls in love with the woman of his dreams at first site. He works for a circus on the promise that each week he will be "paid" with information about the young woman. Each week he clings on to the one new thing he learned so that he can use the knowledge to woo her.

So yesterday I received my first e-mail from Isaac's current family. I had e-mailed them to introduce our family and to ask questions about what he like to do and what he is interested in. I also wanted to find out what kind of personal items he would be bringing with him so that I can plan accordingly. Here is what I found out:
1. He like Thomas the Train (Emerson was thrilled to find this out)
2. He likes to play with cars and trucks
3. He enjoys planning outside at the playground
4. He has only been swimming 3 times and did not really like it (Sorry bud, we are going to have to work on this one)
5. He loves to eat, but he has lots of digestion issues so we have to be careful with what he eats.
6. He loves to have rice with every meal.
7. His current family is going to send three boxes of clothes with him and some of his big favorite toys.
8. He will get to bring his bedding with him, which we are very happy about. This is a huge comfort item for displaced kids.

Now that I know what he is bringing with him, I am going to start working on the list of things we need to get, just to get by. Once he gets here I will figure out the rest, all in good time.

One of my traditional habits that I have tried to break in recent years is my tendancy to count down. Well, I am like a smoker back on the band wagon. For those who love a good count down, here is how it breaks down:
6 days until we leave to meet Issac
8 days until our social worker comes back from vacation so she can send out homestudy out
9 Days until we get to meet Isaac
14 days until we should have custody of him
17 days until we should be home as a family of 4:)

This is of course depended upon the paperwork and Fedex fairies and the DHR in two states. Have fun watching what buracracy can do to such a pretty time line. But hey, what would an adoption be without some unessisary drama.

10 days and counting

When I look at our list of followers it inspires me that so many of you are following along this amazing journey that we are on. It is hard to believe sometimes all of the twist and turns that have lead us to our current life. We were visiting friends last night and he said "Choose where you want to be in life, put it out there, the rest of the details will eventually fall into place." John and I started off knowing that we wanted to parent at least two children. Little did we know what a simple wish like that would do to shape the people we are today.

Our journey to Emerson led us to Kazakhstan. It was a pretty strait path once we decided and a smooth road. When we looked into his eyes in Uralsk on April 20, 2007 we knew that we would do anything in the world for him.

Then in October 07 we decided to adopt again. We decided so quickly because we were worried about John's age becoming an issue. We were talked into adopting from Bulgaria. We waited on their list until May 09 before realizing that their program was really becoming one for children who had major special needs beyond our parenting ability. So in May 09 we switched back to Kazakhstan. We dutifully completed our paperwork hounding officials every step of the way. It then sat, and sat and sat on a desk from Dec. 1 to May14th. At that point the program closed and our bank account began to look like a sinking ship from years of document updates and agency fees.

Faith is a hard thing for me, yet seeing how Isaac slipped into our lives with all of the other chaos is the universe shouting at us to keep paying attention because it is all unfolding perfectly. Just like with Emerson, when I look into his eyes in the pictures, I know that I would do anything for that little boy. All those other ventures were just stalling us for this parenting opportunity.

In 10 days from now, we will start our official visitation of him and file for his adoption through ICPC. IF all goes well,it will take 6-10 days for the paperwork to go through and we will come home to start our lives as a forever family. IF it takes longer, then we get to start our life in a hotel and enjoy becoming a family without the distractions of day to day life.

Thank you all for following along. You are welcome to leave comments and ask questions here. Facebook is a little too public for me to say much on there, but this is an easier place to speak freely.

I have Pictures

If that is not true beauty I am not sure what is.

The Transition Plan

We received our transition plan today of how we will help the little guy move from his current placement into our family. It is nice to be able to picture what we need to do each day. Emerson is so excited about getting to be a big brother. He has told almost everyone "I'm getting a new brother, he is three like me."

Today Mom and I went looking in vain for a bed for "I" As with all things, by the end of the day it worked out better than I could have expected. Sharron called me tonight to say a friend had two twin bed frames and box springs to give us. So Mom got a mattress and the booster seat today. We also picked up a book shelf for him courtesy of my sister.

My next big task is to reserve our hotel in Texas and to make and send a photo album to his current family ASAP so that they can start introducing us. Something tells me that that will be the 4 am project. I still want to order some picture books for both Emerson and "I" but I am not sure they will get here before we leave.

Tonight John and I had friends over who adopted their little girl from China about a year ago. It was so cute to see Emerson and Mae Mae play. Boy is life going to be hectic with two three year olds. For now I am just going to enjoy getting to be Emerson's mom and try to get as much done as I can.