Silly Tiger Mom, It's the Genes

As adoptive parents we would love to believe that it is our nurture shaping our kids.  OK, except I will say I am glad my kids received their stunning looks from nature.  Yet, last month I read the intriguing article in National Geographic about twins.  I became fascinated by the case of Jim and Jim.  They are identical twins that were separated at birth and adopted by different families.  Once they reunited as adults the similar paths that life took them on was creepily similar.  Now with that said, the article did also mention that when one identical twin was not given the basics of food, love, shelter, education the outcome was not so similar.  I like to think of our DNA like a computer.  There are some really cool computers but if I don't put any programs on it or use it to it's fullest capacity, it is just a glorified paper weight. 

With all this said I have a bone to pick with the author of the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.  Before I go off, I should admit, I have not actually read the book.  I have only heard the interviews and read articles about the book. With that said, the premise or theme to me, seems that the author feels that the reason Chinese students are so academically successful is because of the way that Chinese parents demand perfection out of their children.  I will admit, when I would take my kids in Oregon to the Intel NW science fair, they would comment on the fact that all the winners were of Asian decent.  I would usually respond by explaining that scientific experimentation was a very valued work ethic in many Asian homes, which helped those kids complete amazing projects. 

Yet, I now am the parent of two children, who I share no DNA with and who do not share DNA with each other.  They are very close in age, have been raised for the last 1.5 years in the same environment, exposed to the same ideals and expectations....  Yet, my Chinese child has what I would perceive as very Chinese traits.  Here are a few that he has, that we did not teach him:

1. Favorite food:  Rice
2. He will sweep the floor, just because it is helpful
3. He sets the table just because
4. he gets dressed everyday on his own, and matches his clothes
5. He tells me about homework does it and then does it a second time
6. He practices his handwriting for fun
7. He cleans his room, just because he wanted to.
8. He folds laundry without being asked
9. He will help me hang clothes without being asked
10. He can also eat with chop sticks like a champ.  We did not teach him this. 

So, I hate to break it to you Tiger Mother, but I am parenting the chaotic "underachieving" American way, and my Chinese son is blowing me away.  I wish I could take the credit, then transfer those skills to my little mini Gahngaus (sp?) Khan, but alas I am certain it is a nature thing.