Both of our children have had the dreaded night terrors. I really didn't know what this was prior to being a parent. I knew that my brother's daughter had them (my neice) but besides that, I just thought it was like a nightmere. All I can remember is my brother being downright militant about bed time and routines. Not being a parent yet, and never having whitnessed my own child, or any child for that matter, go through a night terror I was quite taken aback by such exterimusum.
That is of course until Emerson started having them once he came home. The I was on the phone with my brother, "Hey how did y'all make these stop?!" Through Danny and our social worker I learned a lot. One of the big things I learned is that when a child become exasusted night terrors are much worse because they go into a very deep sleep making it harder to get them to wake up and comeout of their dream like state.
As a result I have determined that nap time is a sacred event to not be messed with. I would much rather hear my child wine and complain that he does not want a nap, than to wake up thinking that someone is ripping my child's toenails off in the other room at 1am.
Unfortunately, I have not yet convinced John that naps are a must. Yesterday was my first day back to work after being off for 2.5 weeks for the holidays. It was wonderful to spend so much time with the boys, and I saw so much growth from both of them and for us as a family. For a few days leading up to me going back to work, Isaac started to fret about it. I assured him, but it is still rough for him to trust that I will always come back.
When I got home yesterday after a very long day of meetings, the boys informed me that they did not have to take a nap today. Great! It was already 4 pm so a nap then was not an option. Then Isaac was super clingy and Emerson was full of atention seeking behavior. So I stoped everything and sat down with them to play cars, read books and just play. Then a friend came over to discuss our wood stove instilation. Mind you it is now 25 degrees out and still not working wood stove. This all pushed dinner back. Now Isaac is hungery, tired and clingy.
Finaly we eat, we get PJ's on, we play some more, we read and it is time for bed. All is well until about 1am when the night terror began. The screams are distinc, the thrashing sounds harmful. I get in the room and Isaac is crying, thrashing, banging the wall. I speak to him, but he does not respond. When I go to touch him the thrashing is more, the swings are hard. I bring in a cool cloth hoping to wake him fully. It does not work. I am finaly able to hold him and rock him, but he is stiff with an arched back with his eyes open looking through me, as if I am not even there. This goes on for over an hour.
I talk to him, I rock him, I explain that I am his mother, I am here, Daddy is here, Emerson is here and we will always be there for him. I try and try to get him to wake up. Finaly this happens and he sobbs for another hour until he fell asleep on my chest.
It has been a while since we have been through this. I know it is a nessisary part of healing. I don't pray to take his past away that haunts him. I know by now that our past is what shapes us, it is our conciouness about the terror that can transform us in amazing ways. I pray for the strength for both me, and Isaac, and John and Emerson to take the hurt and mold it into something that drives us to reshape the future of others, so there will be no night terrors.
Ugh. My brother had night terrors and as his sibling I thought it was just hilarious that he was acting so strangely. My mother really couldn't wake him up but just had to hold him tight until he got over it. Fortunately I don't think they remember much of it in teh morning. and remember that dreamining in general is a great way for the mind to process thoughts - so it can be healthy. And i agree with you - naps still rule in our house too. Our friends odn't understand this but they aren't dealing with overtiried children!
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