Humans are truly amazing creatures however you belive we came into being. It is phenominal to see how things like babies having soft spots until the age they should be proficient walkers, or how a mother's shape and a babies size allow for cradeling. Kids learn to communicate with words before they are so strong that communicating with fist is dangerous.
This is all well and good when kids get to do this in the right order with a loving and responsive family to guide them gently from one phase to the next.
The other night, Isaac had a night terror. The good news is that he calmed down within a few minutes. This is huge progress from this time last year where it could take an hour to sooth him. But after he calmed down he did not want to stop rocking in the chair. I was forutnate, it was Thanksgiving break and I didn't have to go to school the next day. Isaac needed me and I could just take a nap tomorrow. So I stayed in the chair with him.
It reminded me so much of nights with Emerson when he was so small. The big difference was Isaac now weighs 47lbs and is 42in tall. Our bodies did not match. He could not really get his head on my should just right to hear my heart.
I felt that we had been robbed of something that is not that replacable. Sure, I will do my darndest to give him as much as a can to make up for lost time, but we were designed to do things in a certain order for a reason.
On a bright note, last night Isaac was helping me make homemade beads. He looked at me and out of the blue said "Mama, when I was a baby in China, I did not have anyone to play with me. I am so glad I have friends and a Mama to play with." While we are growing together as mother and son, it is not the way we were desinged, that comment assured me it was exaclty how it is supposed to be as we move forward together.
Aw - those moments are priceless. Even though you have a bigger baby now, I'm sure that the bond between you and your son will overcome the physical limitations.
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