Why?

My father loves to tell the story of how one of my brothers was running away from a bee, and managed to break his foot.  I would always ask, "did he get stung."  Dad would respond "who knows?  His foot hurt so bad that the bee was the last of his worried. 

I have internalized this story growing up to mean "Don't run from something you are afraid of, or that you think will hurt you, because you will only end up hurting yourself."  So while decisions have needed to be made this week and we found our family on a path that was scary and wrong, we did not want to run from it.  We wanted to take survey of our surroundings, really figure out what the issues were and then move ahead with confidence and eagerness to the next step. 

But, why was the current situation the "bee to get away from?"

1.  I think the most valuable thing this past week has taught us, is that it is our job as parents to do what is right for our boys.  Not necessarily what we planned to do, or is convenient, or financially easier, or just because everyone else is.  We started our boys on a kindergarten path that we looked forward to for years.  We assumed because they had so much success in pre-school at the same location, the transition would be easy.  We were wrong.

2.  Some situations and places, despite their best intentions, are not going to be a good match for our kids.  I am sure every parent thinks, "my kid is different,"  "my kids is special."  Fortunately we have a system in place that meets the needs of the majority of the types of kids ways of being "different and special."  My kid's issues are the outliers of this system (for now, maybe forever, but certainly for now.)

3.  My boys are not ready to give up naps.  Yes, there is about 20-30 min for "rest and naps," but I mean my boys really need a real nap.  Emerson operates at 100 RPM's and while he will mature and learn to pace himself, he does not know how to do this yet.  As a result he is crashing and burning from sensory overload every day at the end of the day.  Schools are beautifully colorful places with lots of things for kids to look at, many people in a crowded space, lots of transitions, and different people to get to know.  For Emerson, this setts of too many senses being used at one time and he becomes an overstimulated mess by the end of the day.  Isaac suffers from night terrors.  The most effective way to minimize these is by making sure he does not get exhausted.  They currently have a long day, and without the break for a nap he ends up winding up so much before bed, that he is back to taking forever (even with melatonin) to go to sleep at night.  Then he has a night terror that sets the stage for further exhaustion the next day. 

4.  I am seeing a huge insecurity in both boys in regards to their place in the family.  Emerson must ask me 5-10 times a day if I am going to die?  He literally cries daily over his worry that John or I will die and leave him all alone.  Isaac, is just regressing back to the days where he does not get who is in charge.  When I reach for his hand to cross the road, he pulls away, when I try to help him with something he runs off to "take care of it himself."  We have come to far, to go back now.  I truly feel like my boys need more time to build their family foundation, and the foundation of who they are and what they believe in, before we send them off to be cared for and tested. 

And, I know there are more things that have been running through our mind, but alas, it is 3 am and Emerson is crying out for me, so I  must go.