We are back to moving mostly forward. John has almost finished preping our new house to be painted. I have found appliances, picked paint colors and started packing. We have a plan that includes painting pre/cleaning this week, painting all next week, moving in the week of the 20th, clean up our current house the last week of September. I then go back to work on the 27th and hopefuly we can have a really cool fall festivle super hero birthday party for Emerson.
In the mean time we are learning how to juggle all of this with keeping our boys happy, well fed, with enough attention, exciting sensory opportunities, and at bear minimum from completely melting down. I can say with pride I have accomplished most of these task. Both of my boys are extremely tempremental, strong willed and opinionated. Add to that that they have different oppinions about almost everything, and what they care about changes minute by minute.
One of the biggest difficulties is that John is doing most of the work on the house, while I am taking care of the boys. This is good in some ways because John is really better at the detailed work. The biggest bummer about this is that neither of the boys is getting the one on one attention they need and the family hour is not happening. Emerson had a rough day yesterday of such extreme sadness over the small things. Finaly it hit me that he was needing my attention. Isaac had been getting into so much trouble that Emerson was not getting any attention. So what do 3 year olds do to make that happen? What ever works. So Emerson started screeming, hiting scratching and hitting the walls to get me to pay attention toh him.
The big thing John and I are discovering is how to parent the two of them according to their needs and emotional age. Isaac needs to learn that life is boring when you don't play with your toys appropriately, when you scream, you get ignored, when you ask nicely you get help, when you push your parents to the limit you go to time out.
With Emerson he needs time in's right now. I don't feel the need to walk away from his fits to calm myself down like I do with Isaac. I see that he is truly sad and distresed about something. Sometimes he does need a time out, or to be ignored or to be empathized with.
It might be fun for the boys to help paint walls next week... messy, but should be fun. Our kids love "helping" out with that type of stuff. That way they are a part of the new house.
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind, even with a 8 year old boy and an almost 6 year old girl... we still have listening issues, and some fights, and the "will you tell her/him to stop ___?". All parents have been there, and you are not alone in your frustrations! You are dong an amazing job, and some day they will thank you for it (usually, when they have kids of their own and wonder how mom did it all without killing anyone)! Loves to you all!
Just remember that this is temporary. Soon you will be settled in and can get into a routine. Though I empathize with the need to give each child one-on-onen time. Fortunately there seems to be about a 30-60 min difference in their sleeping schedules. Not enough for Mom to pull her hair out but enough that each one gets some alone time without the other. And I know the feeling well with the constant need for attention by the new child and the competition from the other. I have had to be adamant about making sure that they take turns doing whatever with Mom (being picked up, dancing, getting tickled, etc) and ignore the one doing the protesting that they have to wait a turn. If you figure it all out - how to balance the needs of two toddlers - let me know please! Especially if you can actually get something done and find some time for yourself. Right now that seems like an impossible dream!
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