Two months

It is hard to belive that we have know Isaac for two months now. When I remember this I am pretty darn happy with how far we have come. When I look back and see pictures or read the blog from July I am able to see that we are doing the right things and he is getting on the right track. I guess that is why we jornal, blog, write, record things, make observations. It helps the mind and soul gain confidence and reflect upon the good, bad, ugly and pretty.

Last month I took the time to list out our major parenting challenges and note where Isaac was on all of these fronts. For my sake and those of you who are interested in the pattern of progress or regression of a newly adoped toddler here it goes: (You are welcome to look back at August 11 to see what was going on then)

1. Food/Weight: Today my father went to pick up Isaac and he comented on the fact that he was becoming a solid boy now. Not only has he gained about 5 lbs, but he does not feel so frail like he is going to fall apart when you pick him up. As far as eating, I think Emerson has taught him too much in this area. Isaac really eats like most 3 year olds now. Picky, plays with food, he would rather play than sit. The one big difference is that he LOVES eggs. He would eat 5 fried eggs every morning if I let him. He will eat 10 deviled eggs if left un checked.

I am clamping down on the free form eating because I can not have an open door policy on my kitchen. He is also way to messy to be given free acess to food. Unfortunatley in the South if you have crumbs you have cock roaches. Enough said, sorry kid you can't graze all day.

2. Digestion Issues: Isaac does not have parisites, he was just being neglected in his previous home. He does have soft stools frequently but has only had 2-3 incidences that I would call stomach upset. He still does not get any dairy or nuts for now.

3. Drugs: I am happy to say he is drug free. If anyone out there is even considering psycotrophic drugs for your child, go talk to a smoker who has recently gone through withdrawls. When Isaac came off the colondine he swung wildly as far as his emotions and ability to show self restraint. When I think back to that week, it makes the current issues we are dealing with seem quite simple. Yes, the drugs did minimize his behavior issues but they also supressed the rest of him as well.

We have at the Dr. suggestion started him on melatonin to support health sleep paterns. The last thing he needs is to try and process all of his other emotions on no sleep.

3. Behavior: Overall this is an area where I feel like we have gone backwards overall. Isaac is all over the place with bahvior. One second he will be a happy playful, helpful little boy. Then the slightest thing will set him off and he spirals out of control fast. So fast that you aren't expecting that kick in the face, or punch. Sometimes it comes in a screaming fit or hysterical sobbs. What it does is it puts me and John on a constant state of alert. He will be happily and appropriately playing with a toy and then throw it at Emerson who is minding his own buisness reading a book on the sofa. He will be laughing and playing with us on the floor and it one of us ask him to stop doing something he will haulf off and kick or punch. Not lightly I might add. This makes it hard to bond and hard to love to be honest. The hardest thing is the testing boundries and negative attention seekeing behavior. The only way to get attention in a Chinees orphanage is negative or basic needs. The only attnetion he got in his last home was negative. We are doing our best to go nuts over the good stuff and give lots os specific praise and imideiate rewards. We truly don't expect this to level out until Chirstmast time. It is much harder to re-train a child than it is to do it right.

4. Potty: Isaac is mostly potty trained in the day. He now ask to go to the bathroom. He can sometimes take care of everything by himslef and other times he needs help. The hardest thing is that it is 100 degrees here with 100% humidity which makes for sticky pants to pull down. He is about 50/50 at night. He will still not get out of his bed at night so until that happens we are stuck with diapers. It is a battle I am not willing to take on right now.

5. Brothers: I love when I see them play together, and they are doing it more and more. They play great when one or both of us are around, but they are doing better. They also really look after each other. They are in the same class at school, but apparently they do not do too much together there. Emerson will however tell me imidiately if Isaac did somehting wrong at school.

My biggest worry is that Emerson will remember this phase of Isaac's too much. Isaac regularly hurts Emerson, and Emerson is a tough kid. Occasionaly he will ask me when we are taking Isaac back to Texas. Ugg.

6. Attachment: If you see the article below I must say my favorite line is the fact about "this love is not microwavable it is a slow simmering dish that I get lovely wiffs of." This is where we are. Kids don't come out as three year olds or 13 year olds for a reason. It doen't mean forming a health familialy bond is not possible, it just means it is different and harder. On Isaac's part, his delayed developmental stage is a blessing for him. I really don't think he conciously remembers his previous life and family. He does trust us, he does cuddle, he does all the normal things he should do at this stage. Fortunately for him, he doesn't hold a grudge when I flip out at his behavior. If only I could be as kind and let things go.

7. Coordination: This is still improving but his common sense when it comes to danger is really lacking. He can now walk on uneven surfaces or go down hills without falling. He still does not get that if he stands on a chair it will filp over despite doing this three times now. He will pull heavy things over on him. Again imagine a 12-16 month old learning to walk and navigate the world with the strength, hight and will of a 3.5 year old. He has to be supervised at all times because he will get hurt if were are not right there and sometimes he gets hurt anyway.

8. Self Play: He can but he chooses not to most of the time. The hardest thing now is that he gets into trouble fast if someone is not there.

9. Lanuage: I don't think Isaac's speach is imporving from class just yet. I will say that we have gotten better at understanding him. Signing helps a lot. Also we are making him go through phases or sentances with us that he needs all the time. He does this one word at a time. For now it is just teaching him about the use of language to communicate. He still mostly screams to initiate attention or need for help. I can't wait until this habit goes away. The greatest challenge though is that Isaac does not comprehend language well at all. This is in part do to his hearing, patialy due to multible languages and lack of communication with adults in his past. When this improves I think many other issues will resolve them selves.