Breaking a horse

My husband and I lived out West for a long time. We did not live in the trendy West either. We lived in rural Eastern Oregon where there were far more horses in our county than people. Near by towns had the air of the wild wild west and kids aspired to be rodeo champions and clowns when they grew up. Young kids would walk around with belt buckles that were like sheilds attached to their mid section.

The reason I bring this all up is because I watched several wild horses and rescued horses get "broken." It was a term and process that always bothered me when it was happening, yet there was no way I was going to ride a horse that had not been broken, or even go near one for that matter. What was stronge to me was this notion of repeditively subjecting the horse to triggers or repeating a concequence for agressive behavior over and over and over again, unitl the horse would "break, subcome, give in." This idea of nessisary dominace always bothered my idealistic young mind. Why could ridder and horse just live in harmony..? Or, Couldn't the ridder and horse come to some ameable agreement? The second question get's a "Yes" Once the horse is well behaved, safe to be around and can do it's job, the ridder can and does give in loads of love, adventure, rewards, food, good shelter and pasture.

So this is where I am with Isaac, and it does not feel any better when it is a child. In fact it feels much worse but so much more nessisary. Isaac is like a horse that learned all the bad habits that one could learn. It would almost be easier to start with wild than to start with bad habits.

Right now we have the following habits to deal with:
1. Hitting his brother: Isaac has no idea that Emerson could rip him apart if he so choose. He constantly hits him then thinks he can be out of trobble by saying he is sorry. He will even say he is sorry before I say anything which tells me he knows it is wrong. How on earth do I get him to stop though??

2. Throwing toys at people and windows: The kid loves to throw and he didn't learn that this was not Ok prior to gaining the strength of a 3 year old. I keep soft balls around that he is aloud to throw, and toys that are tossed get put in time out.

3. Dumping water or milk on the floor: If one gives Isaac something to drink he does not like he will look you right in the eye and dump it on the floor. Instant time out earner. I akin this to the dropping the rattle phase. It almost is like he is trying to figure out cause and effect but with 3 year old examples.

4. Screaming: This is the real clincher for me. The boy has a screach that can ratchet up the blood pressure like non other. This was his primary form of communication for 3 years and I don't think it will be going away until his language skills drasticaly improve. He does it out of anger and it is usualy followed by hitting, swinging, scratching and/or kicking the wall. When this behavior ends I will be one very happy mama.

John and I are incredibly consistant on calling him on these behaviors every time they happen because they are the biggies. His teachers are also on board. Now I think it is just putting in the hard time of "breaking Isaac." Maybe to sooth my peaceful nature I need to reframe this process of "breaking his habits so that Isaac can be free."

Back to the original example of the horse I know that what we are doing is nessisary. Yes, wild horses are amazing, but they don't get to coexist with human society. Isaac is a human and a little boy who needs to get past his past so that he can move foward with the rest of his life. These next few months may not be fun, they may not be pretty, but hopefuly we will all be happy that we did this hard work or habit breaking.