Kicking it into the Finish Line

As a long distance runner in middle school I used to have this internal rationalizing conversation during cross country races:

Me to Self:  "If I run fast, I will have a lot of pain, but I will get it over with quicker."
After a few minutes of running faster
Self to Me:  "If I run this slower it will not hurt has bad , but it will hurt for longer." 
I would run slower for a few minutes then I would repeat the conversation. 

I later learned that I was a much better 100 M hurdle runner of focus on one fast approaching obstacle, get over it, then move to the next one without much if any thinking/rationalizing time. 

One thing though with running was consistent, you always dumped all the energy and speed you could muster when you got close to the finish line.  Kicking it in, was what we called it. 

Here I find myself at the end of the school year having a similar dialog.  We had a three day weekend and I worked for our business three of the three days.  It was hard to drag myself out of bed.  I still had lingering bitterness from last week and I will admit I came into today just wanting to "get it over with."  Before you think "Karon, you idiot why are you saying such things on a public blog." 

Here is why.  It did not take long for me to get over my whiny self and remember why I teach and specifically why I teach middle school kids.  So many people look at me like I am an alien when I tell them that I enjoy working with kids in the awkward years.  To make a long and private story short, I had a kid this morning who was having a really bad day.  I had gotten the rest of the class on track with their assignment and I was able to give him the time and attention he desperately needed.  I was able to confide in him that I taught middle school because I wanted to be there for all the kids that were like me (the miss fits.)  He was shocked to find out I was considered weird, outcast, unpopular in middle school.  I explained that early adolencenc is not kind to those who do not conform or fit in, but assured him that he can be his own person and love that person when those around him are critical of him. 

Situations like this came up over and over again today.  Kids who are hurting, who still need me.  Maybe they are not really paying attention to the moon and tide graphs we are making.  Maybe they need something quite different from the adults in their life today and for the rest of the school year.  I am glad I was able to wake up, find some energy reserve and remember why it is I am here in front of these kids today, here and now.  So while I am looking forward to summer and only doing two full time jobs rather than three, I will take the time to cherish the creatures that are with me now, for all too soon I will be letting them go and wishing them their best.