So I have often joked about what it would be like if we continued to buy clothes according to our age. For instance Emerson is almost 4 and he wears 4 toddler clothes. Isaac is still firmly in his 3's and wears 3 toddler clothes. So should I know be buying size 33:)
On a more realistic note I bring this up because I spent my b'day at the international adoption clinic doing Isaac's developmental screening and follow up appointment. The good news is that he does not have any parasites, but the bad news is that it means he was so skinny because his former parents were starving him. The developmental specialist confirmed what we were already suspecting.
1. Isaac is really crying, reacting, responding and behaving more like a 20-24 month old than a 3.5 year old. What this means for us is recognizing that he is not going to respond for a while to his new behavior expectations. Just like you have to tell a 2 year old "No" or redirect them for 3 months, we will have to do that with Isaac.
2. On the other hand, his fine moter skills are on track but his gross moter skills are very age appropriate. He can pick up and manipulate small objects, use a fork and spoon and color. This makes sense because this is expected early of orphans.
3. His gross moterskills like running, stairs, coordination are like a young two year old. This also makes sence because he spent so much time in a crib and walker. When in Texas he was not given much or any opportunity to walk on uneven surfaces run up and down hills. This will and is improving but the problem is that he is running faster and is frail and is much farther from the ground then most kids learning this skill.
4. Isaac is one of those few kids that has better expressive language/communication than receptive. I can ask him if he wants and elephant to eat dinner with him and he will say "yes." One minute latter he will tell me Emerson needs to sit at the table for dinner. This makes sense as he could not hear very well in China prior to his cleft surgery and tubes in his ears last Jan. In Texas English and Farsi were both spoken in the house further confusing the situation. Time and school will greatly improve this but boy does it make like difficult for now.
5. Behavior is improving. Isaac went way down after he got off all of his medicine. Fortunately in just two weeks we are seeing him show some restraint, he can be redirected and he is starting to have greater communication skills.
6. One last great thing is that he gained 3 lbs. He looks so much healthier now.
So now I can't help but wonder how I would be rated on the developmental scale. Here is my attempt:
1. Chronological age vs. how old I feel: Yes I am 33 with 2 three year olds and as my brother put it, I should feel 44 by the time I have two 4 year olds. I am aging expediently.
2. Behavior: I wish I could say that I am the perfectly calm composed parent at all moments. I will say I respond well to time outs, dark rooms, and alcholo therapy. Positive reinforcement and unconditional love and supportive phone calls and chocolate also help stave off the next mommy melt down.
3. BMI Charts: Why is it that I run in circles all day but I don't seem to be loosing weight or look like a super model. I just look tired and frumpy.
First of all, you will NEVER look frumpy! That is a look that is often mistaken for being the mother of toddlers! Everything you mention is at least a little bit common to all toddlers AND their parents! You're doing great, and the progress looks huge from a bystander listening to your accounts.
ReplyDeleteIt's really a good thing that we don't have to buy European size clothes, because they do tend to mirror our age! The weight will come off, and you will be surprised at how fast it does.
For now, keep loving those two little angels and keep doing what you're doing, because they sure seem to be thriving with it! Take care, and be blessed for the work that you're doing--this is eternal work, not just temporal!
Very interesting about Isaac. I am glad that you are finally at the point where things are making sense and coming together. And.. where do you get you look tired and frumpy.. not hardly..you look great! Maybe once you get settled into your new home things will level out for ya. Take care. Hugs from Tx. folk.
ReplyDeleteSOOOO glad you got all this good info! Ditto on the "frumpy, what?" comments. And I can't resist the awful temptation to make a really bad, awful, Mendel sense of humor joke. . .forgive me for this one, but I heard that Emerson and Elephant sound an awful lot alike in Chinese - ba dum chik. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteExcited to see what the mammoth cleft palate appointment reveals.
I know when our little guy was in the hospital for 10 days, a lot of it was so not fun, but the end result was this weirdly greater peace of mind knowing that he had been screened for practically every awful thing under the sun and came out just fine. Perhaps through all of this, getting confirmation that there are so many problems / issues he doesn't have might be a huge relief, opening up more space for focusing on the ones he does, plus all that playing he needs to catch up on.
I'm with everyone else - I think you're doing great, and am so privileged to be a part of this journey.
Happy bday, little sis,
Love,
Sharron
Just checking in (I do everyday) From this far perspective things are really moving along. In a year this will all be a blur. We love you.
ReplyDeleteIt is so good to have concrete information to go on no matter how hard it is to hear. You can only go up from here!
ReplyDeleteYou are soooo not frumpy. Stress just makes you feel that way. :)
Heaven forbid what size I would be wearing if we did it by age! I think we worked it out with John to get with you next weekend to really celebrate your birthday. I know how much you like Isaac's doctor appointments, but I think you deserve something a little more exciting. It will definitely include wine, cheese and chocolate - the 3 important food groups!
ReplyDeleteGlad that you have an assessment to chart your strategy and it seems that you've already seen progress. I, too, have been using alcohol therapy to de-stress after spending the evening with a screamin' meamie. Whatever works!
ReplyDelete