What a difference a month makes

It is hard to believe that we have know Isaac for a month now. Some moments it feels like one big blur and at other moments I can't believe how far we have come. It seems like life, pre-Isaac was forever away.

In light of keeping things in perspective for us to look back on and to help our friends family and other adoptive parents see what is going on, I will list what I see as the big changes.

1. Food and Weight: When we first met Isaac he was skin and bones with a rock hard distended belly. When we ate, he shoveled everything in his mouth as quick as he could and begged for every grain of rice to be scraped from his bowl and he would pick up any stray bits.

Now: Isaac appears to have gained weight and I can no longer count his ribs from a distance. He still ask for food all day long, and most of the time we have something for him. He now will eat 1 and 1/2 servings but will leave food in his bowl. If asked he will share food with any of us and occasionally plays with his food like a normal toddler.

2. Digestion issues: We were told that Isaac was allergic to everything and that all foods seemed to cause him diareah. He has only had this one time with us and no other incidences.

3. Drugs: Isaac was on two very intensive psycotrophic drugs when we met him. They kept him groggy, dragging and just plain out of it. When he would take one of them, I could literally watch the personality being snuffed out of him.

Now: We have totally weened him off of one of the medicines and he will be done with the other on on Saturday. We have not noticed any negative behaviors or issues arise as of yet. What we are seeing is a normal three year old boy. To the untrained eye, 3 year old boys do look like someone who is mentally ill.

4. Behavior: When we first met Isaac he was complacent and obedient to a fault. Yes, it was cool that he could put on his own diaper, but that is not normal. He didn't cry or protest because it was forbidden.

Yes, we have taken him backwards in this regard, but I know it is for the better. He does throw tantrums, he does scream and shout when he doesn't get his way. He also goes to time out, explains and/or shows me what he needs to do that is correct and give great"I'm sorry hugs and kisses." We are all learning.


5. Potty: When we met Isaac his other family had given up on Potty training and just left him in wet and messy diapers.

I am happy to say that he is about 85% potty trained. He has only gone #2 in a diaper or underpants 2 times since we have met him. He is starting to ask to go pee and poo. We are getting there. We have not started night time training because he will not get out of his bed for any reason at night.

6. Brothers: Emerson and Isaac's bond is growing but I will admit it is slow. Isaac really wants me all to himself which causes tension for both of them. Emerson does a good job of including Isaac, and Isaac is great with making sure Emerson gets what he needs. They don't quite know how to play together yet, but I think it will take Isaac moving into the next developmental stage for that to happen.

7. Attachment with Us: So here it is, I am going to tell the truth. Attachment to a toddler is slow going. With Emerson things were quick. He was a baby. Yes it was hard to parent him when he came home and it was not an easy road but he did not really have quirks yet. His demands were over basic needs or specific discomforts. Isaac is 3.5 and has expereicned a lot in his short life. Like it or not the kid has baggage. He has things he likes and doesn't like and because he is 3 this changes every hour on the hour. Don't get me wrong. John and I adore Isaac. We are so happy he is in our family. And, it is a slow process to grow to love a child who has just joined your family in the way that one should love a son. Fortunately, I know it will happen. Everyday we get to know him better. I look forward to looking back on this post in a year or 6 months and smiling at how much progress we have made.

One big thing is that Isaac has started to dole out kisses to the two of us. It took almost a month but it has come and it came on his terms which makes me very happy.

8. Coordination: When we met Isaac he barely had enough strength to run, not to mention that he was wearing shoes that would fall off of his feet because they were too big. We were told that he HATED the water. He rarely had time to play outside or run around like a boy should. He would fall easily and cry hysterically when he would trip.

Now, poor little guy has many bumps and bruises all over his knees from running and falling. The good news is that he is trying all these things and everyday he becomes more coordinated. He loves the water and begs to take a bath now and always wants to go to the pool. We still have a long way for him to go before he is where his peers are, but I am sure it will come.

9. Self Play: This is slowly improving but it still needs some time to develop. I think this will get better as I am home for my leave and he feels more attached to us.

10. Language: This is the area where we need the most help. He does not seem to be able to make many sounds and he is very hard to understand. I would say 90% of his tantrums are because he can't communicate a need or want. We are teaching him to sign as fast as he can learn. I can't wait to get him started in the early intervention program so that we can see more progress. We meet with the cleft pallet team on August 26th where we will learn more.

Tomorrow is my last day of work for the next 6 weeks and I am glad. I am sad that I will not be there for my kids, but it is really too much, too soon. I know these next 6 weeks will fly by. More on that another day. This tired mama needs some sleep.