Great Quotes

So this post is long overdue, but I have found myself hearing over and over again that I need to be documenting the things my boys are saying. I always find myself hesitant to come back to the blog, because I feel that I must start where I left off and that becomes so daunting that I don't even start. So in an effort to start again, I am not going back to where I left off, but instead I will share with you the hilarious things my boys have been saying: (Most of this is from Emerson as Isaac is not expressing himself as much these days)

While sleeping on the porch as a family a while back, (yes we sleep outside because it is great family bonding and how else will we prepare them for their future wilderness exploring lives.) Emerson wakes up and and explains that he just had a dream about bad guys getting ready take over the planet, "Isaac do want to come with me to help save the world?" Isaac looks at him with a bleary sleepy eye and says "No thanks, I will stay here and fold my blanket into a perfect square." This pretty much sums up my boys.

Emerson last night a dinner is talking about a girl in his class we will call her "A", he asks me to write him a note to give to here. I asked what he wanted me to write. "I love you." Ah, 5 year old romance. I then asked why, he said because she likes pretty pink flowers. This is the same girl that he told me last year that I needed to plant a raised bed filled with pink flowers for his Mimi and his girlfriend "A".

The other day we were at a friends place and Emerson saw a horse. He asked if he could ride it. "Sure" the man says. Emerson gets on bare back and starts ridding. He then ask what the horses name is. "Bucky" "What does that mean." So I explain. Emerson then leans down to the horses ear and says "Listen hear Bucky, where I come from my people eat your kind."

Father's Day

So I must say this has been a rather weird father's day. It started off well and ended well but the middle was weird. For John, I made him his yearly scrap book through shutter fly like I always do. The pictures are at http://doubledecker.shutterfly.com

I was crafty yesterday and had the boys make him cards with paint and all. For those who know me well, you know that I have no problem having 15 different science experiments going on in my room, but arts and crafts make me twitch. None the less I put on my big girl pants and had the boys make cards for John and my dad.

This morning we got up and John loved the cards and book. We then headed downtown to meet up with my mom and dad and my brother's family for breakfast. We got there at 8:00 we were seated shortly there after. The waitress borough coffee and juice right away. Unfortunately 45 min. later there was still no food. Fortunately I fed my family first breakfast, so while the boys were bonkers they were not starving.

Then the weirdness started. My mom announces that my dad is not feeling well. I look over and he is resting his head against the table and mom has a cold rag on his neck. I go over and ask him a few questions only to find out he has had a big glass of coffee and OJ this morning but no food. He is pasty and shaky. I go to the host and ask for a piece of toast. When I come back my father is no longer responsive, my mother is crying and saying "Manuel talk to me, please talk to me." John calls 911, I take Dad's pulse, it is regular but weak. I know he suffers from low blood pressure, but we can not get him in a laying position now that he is unconscious and we are in a crowded restaurant.

While this is all going on one of my nieces is crying, my boys are being reasonably good, but my brother has turned three shades of green and has become cool, clammy and shakey. I let his wife help him, only to find Dad now looking strait at me and mom but audibly snoring, his eyes rolled back in his head and now I can't find a pulse. John assures me the ambulance is on the way.

My brother is not looking good and now Mom is even more worried (mind you my mother has a torn rotater cuff that she will be having surgery on in the next few days. She is in no position to deal with all of this at the same time.) He also had a huge Starbucks coffee on an empty stomach, then had the panic surge of seeing our 84 year old father in such a state.

Dad then opens his eyes and starts to come to. He speaks but his words are all slurred, I fear a stroke. The paramedics show up, and now 1hour and 15 min. later so does our food.

Then Dad snaps out of it, he wants to eat, he wants fresh air, his blood pressure is low (this has happened before but not for 2 years)his blood sugar was low. Fortunately it was not a stroke, his heart is good. My brother is also coming back to life as he gets some food and an awkward breakfast ensues.

I am not sure how to take all of this. It was too close for me. Mind you my father has lived an amazing life, he has done what he wants to do. He swims every other day and plays golf every other day. He avidly reads, goes to classes at the local university and is an active participant in his book club. He has raised 6 kids and now has 15 grand kids. All of this said, I selfishly was terrified today of loosing him this father's day. I am sure I was not the only one and I sure hope that we can have a do over next year.

Summer fun

It has been while since I have posted but hey, better late than never right? We have an ongoing joke that we are the family that helps others feel like they really have their stuff together:) While things are crazy that does not seem stop us from doing many wonderful things and creating life long memories for our boys.

The big news in our world is that I am officially on summer break. While I love teaching with all of my heart, and I know without a doubt that being an educator is my true calling in life, I am also a mom, a mom who worked very hard to get my two boys home. This summer to me is very special because this last year I have known with every fiber of my being that Isaac needed me, and not the me one gets after a long day of work. Knowing this, and then turning it around to quality family time is a bit different. I have to admit that when I went back to school after being home with him for 6 weeks, I would say with all honesty that I was going back to work to relax before my evening shift.

This go around though has been wonderful. First off I am getting to garden again, and I love it. I feel this immense sense of purpose as I grow food for my garden. I am also able to free up John's schedule because I am home so that he can accomplish a lot more with our business, The Backyard Pantry. As far as the boys we have decided to switch our schedule to a siesta schedule and it seems to give us all some much needed time together and apart:
6:00am Karon and John are up and working in the garden while it is cool.
7:00am the boys get up and play outside while it is cool.
7:30am breakfast on the porch
8:00-9:30 the boys play around the property while John and I do outside chores or building raised beds for our clients. This usually involves the boys running around in the sprinklers as I do my morning watering.
9:30 get ready to go to the pool
10:00-12:00 Karon and the boys swim while it is in the 90's
12:30-1:30 Lunch
1:30-3:30 naps for all
3:30-4:30 Movie time if behavior has been good (mind you it is still in the high 90's so moving fast is pretty hard:)
They boys then play until we have a dusk dinner
more outside play as a family while it is cool then stories and bed time.

Both boys are loving so much time at the pool and Isaac is a great little helper in the garden. Emerson tells me almost daily how happy he is to have his new brother Isaac. Isaac is learning how to play with Emerson and becomes more sociable every day. Tomorrow I am taking them to the library program and we are going to go as a family to the water park on Thursday.

What I love right now are the litte moments that I hope will be strong memories for the boys. I love that they help me pick the vegetables we eat for dinner or that if a song we like starts playing during dinner we all get up and dance. I think it is hilarious (and slightly disturbing) that when we work the farmers market selling our raised garden beds, that Emerson will tell people: "My dad builds the best raised garden beds ever! You should get one and then I can come to your house and watch movies while he puts it in. OK"

There are other times when I look at the boys and I am so thankful that we all found each other. I don't think of us as their saviors, yet I do find myself so thankful that they escaped the system. Kazakhstan is closed now and that means that there are many kids piling up in the orphanages. When or if it reopens, I worry that families will only want the little girls and the toddler and preschool boys will be left behind. I think of Isaac, a little boy trying to get adopted from China where most people expect to adopt a girl. At Kazapalooza I found myself so thankful for each and every child I saw with each family that opened their hearts, minds and homes to a different way of making a family.

Kazapalooza

It is hard to believe it is almost time for Kazapalooza again. Every year we always wonder how we will make it work, we figure out what we are willing to go without so that we can go, and every year it is very worth it. There is something amazing about being around those with a shared collective experience that few people in our day to day life have. We are all so vastly different in terms of careers, religion, reason for adopting, financial stability, where we live, what our experience was like in adoption, but we all have one huge thing in common. We persevered through mountains of paperwork and red tape, because some part of our inner being drove us to go to one more USCIS appointment, to redo that form again, and to be fingerprinted by every possible agency just to prove we were not in fact criminals. We have all done something that was not easy, or normal, but what we as families knew to be the right path for us. Few of us have had flawless journeys, but that is what makes our families rich and helps (hopeful) our children know how much they were really wanted in this world.

Kazapalooza is only one weekend a year, but it also gives us the community (even if it is virtual for 362 days a year) to be a part of and lean on.

John and I are the ones this time wishing we could go ahead and pack our bags. Emerson was kind enough to remind me that there were still 10 more days until we leave. Isaac does not know about this event yet. I am trying to really prepare him for a vacation. It is still a little freaky for him to do things out of the routine. The last two big times he met a lot of strangers in a hotel, he lost what was his family or home life. I keep reassuring him that we are going as a family and we will come home as a family.

Our plan is to go to KP then up to Port St. Joe on the way back and enjoy a few days there before enjoying the summer with the boys and working on the buisness (The Backyard Pantry.)

Big Progress

Dear Readers,
I feel as though once again I should start my post with an apology. It has been too long again, and I would love to say it is because I am so busy. It is true I am busy, but there are other adoptive parents who are way busier and keep their blog up on a more regular basis. I will say, that I have a no scream policy at home, which does not help. When Isaac came home we diched the TV, and the computer at home is for me to look up recipies or put music on for the family. I think it is my guilt of working so many hours. Regardless of all my exuses of why I have been a bad blogger I am here... for today.

Let me start first with a progress report. I need to brag on Isaac and the power of family. If you have followed this blog since his adoption you will know that he was a bit of a mess when he got to us. He was on intense psycotrophic drugs, very under weight, could barely hear, did not have many words he could speak, he could not walk on uneven surfaces, he would hit, throw things and arch his back when hugged. He would wake up with night terrors or refuse to go to sleep at all.

We have come a long way since them. Isaac now talks up a storm (it is stil hard to understand him at times), he gives great hugs and even spontaniously will tell me he loves me. He is now on the charts and even 25th % for height and weight. He gladly will set the entire table for a meal (granted he does this becaue he has learned it means we eat sooner and the boy loves to eat.) He goes to sleep well and knows what to expect with his night time routine. He will often come out of his room in the morning dressed apropriately for the day, and he is great about cleaning up his room without me asking. The biggest news we recived in regards to his progress is his intelectual development. Isaac was labeled as developmentaly delayed. In the adoption world we know this term well, but there is always some worry that comes with it. We know as adoptive parents that our kids will be delayed, and we hope that with life experiences with family love our child will catch up. There is always the worry that there is something else causing these delays and that your child just might not catch up to their peers. This is the information we got from the school at his IEP meeting. When we took Isaac for his developmental screaning in August he was testing at a 26 month old level for a 3.5 year old. The great news is that last month he tested at a 4 year old level for a 4 year old. The folks at the international clinic were amazed. They said they have never seen a kid come from so far behind, to on target so quickly.

The one area we are still really struggling with is emotional age. Isaac, with me, reverts back to baby land regularly. I mean crawling on the floor, grunting and pointing, drooling, baby behavior... I will be honest, this is madening to me. I totaly get why he is doing it, I logicaly know he needs a mother (me) to make up for years of neglect. The difficulty is that he wants it but has no idea how to appropritely get motherly attention. When we go to cuddle he often pulls away, then 2 seconds later demands that I hold him. When he does not get his way, he reacts like an 18 month old. He hits, screams, pouts. I keep reminding myself that this imaturity will not always be so obvious. Yes, it is drastic to have a 4 year old acting like a 2 year old. Now a 40 year old acting like a 38 year old is not that big of a deal.

Way too Long

OK I am so sorry to have left my readers in a lurch. To say life has been busy since I last wrote would very much be an understatment. I also think though, I owe it to Isaac and those concidering follwoing in our foot steps to update the blog so that y'all can see how far he has come and we have come.

First a breif summary of what we have been up to these last few months.
1. We moved to our amzing new place in the country that has required loads of work.
2. We discovered some title problems with the property causing us to need for the first time outside of adopting to get a lawyer UGG
3. We spent Christmas break at home starting to revamp our landscape to a more eddible landscape.
4. Just as I went back to work, John had a hissy fit over a feril cat that got into our barn. As he chased it down the stairs and out onto the drive way, he triped and fell strait armed on the driveway. He sperated all the ligaments of his shoulder and had to have major surgery on it two days later. He then spent 6 weeks completely incapacitated (unable to drive, sleep through the night, pick up the boys, cook, clean, eat with the family...) you get the idea.
5. I then move into the role or caring for 3 children, taking care of John's buisness, doing everything for the boys, house and doing my 60 hour a week job.
6. John is starting to recover, but was told by his physical therapist that he might need another surgery because he did not start the PT soon enough and his shoulder is not healing properly.
7. I have been gardening like mad. So far I have planted in the ground, peas, parsnips, carrots, beets, Pak choi, spinach, swill chard, garilc, onions, thyme, cumin, strawberries, blueberries ad grapes. I have loads more in the green house but I am waiting for consistantly warmer weather first.

OK so now onto the boys...
Honetly, I have not blogged much because thigs are pretty normal... well as normal as they get with two four year old boys.
Emerson is as rough and tough as they get, but couples that with his adorable loveable nature.
Isaac sort of sticks to the middle. He is not supper lovey, but he also does not throw the caliber temper tandrums Emerson is capable of.

Emerson is balls out adventure boy. There is very little the scares him, he does not care if he is wet, cold no big deal, jumping in deep water, no problem.

Isaac is much more cautions. When it snowed, Emerson was striping off cloths stating he did not need them because he is a big boy and he was fine. Isaac quickly grabed up the clothes that Emerson was discarding. Isaac the other day followed Emerson's warrior jump into a a pool came up sobbing in frustration that he had follwed his brother to such an unplesant experience. The good thing was that this did not deter him from later enjoying the water. He just went in cautiouly from then on.

Emerson eats dinner like a nomad. He eats what he wants, when he wants, and has no problem going on a hunger strike. Isaac on the other hand, loves his food. He is silent, and dilagent during meal times. There is never a bite left over and he is usualy very happy to eat what Emerson left on his plate.

Isaac has come a long way since he has been with us. He is meeting most of his IEP goals but still very much struggles with speach sounds. He talks away now and says one declaritive sentace after another. For example:
"I like rice."
"My Daddy likes rice"
"My mommy likes rice"
"Emerson does not like rice"
He will rattle like this for hours on end. It is good for language aquisition and he now has words, the speach therapist has something to work with in terms of sounds. For me,(caution guilt confession comming) I feel like I have been listening to a forign language all day and by the end of the day I just want silence because it is so hard to interpret and very little of it is telling me something original. He will shout MaMAa MaMa at the top of his lungs only to have my attention and then say "oatmeal" for the 400th time.

He forutnatley now can understand most of what we say to him. He still has a very hard time following directions if they are only given verbaly and many times he chooses to test the waters to see if he must follow the direction. This is frustrting, becuase he really is a good little boy. He likes to help, he is good at looking for missing items, watering plants, setting the table, putting clothes away.. So when he puts up a fuss about it, it feels like he is being dissagreable just for the fun of it.

Isaac has also tunred out to be very coordinated. The little boy that came to us could not walk down a hill without falling. Now he can do flips, handstnads, hop on one foot, gallop sideways and all sorts of other neat tricks.

As far as being a family, I will be honest, it is still forming. Isaac still prefers me much more than John. A lot of this has to do with John's injury and absnce while he got the new house ready for us. A lot also has to do with him never having formed a health male bond before. For me, it feels like the attaching is taking forever. I love Isaac, but in a very different way than I love Emerson. A lot just has to do with the fact that we still have not know him that long, and we are still getting to know him. Right now, it feels like he just imitates others and thus I really don't get to see his true character yet. Fortunately our love continues to grow, but it is slow and steady.

Four and a half months

It is hard to belive sometimes that Isaac has only been with us 4.5 months. A lot has happened in all of this time, and now we are at the stage where it is hard to remember life before being a family of four. Both the boys are learning lots about this dynamic, but I think John and I have had to do the most learning. Just the little things like going to a birthday party with 2 kids, or getting them in the car, or managing car line at school, or the grogery store dynamic have all come with huge learning curves accoplished by trial and error.

Emerson has had to do a lot of growing up so that we can really teach Isaac the basics about behavior in public, expectations with property, what to eat and not to eat, how to appropriately interact with friends at a party... Fortunately (and saddle) Emerson is also just naturaly becoming more indipendant. He does not want me to hover over him at a birthday party, while Isaac wants to assign me a place to stand and he looses it if I move from that spot. Unfortunately, this means that I have to trust that Emerson is going to stay out of trouble which is a long shot on a good day.

Another thing that is challenging with having two boys 4 months apart with them added to our family at different times, is the struggle they are having with dominance. When Isaac is out, he is not assertive at all. If a kid takes his toy he will looks sad, and possibly cry, but he is not going to try and keep it, and definately would not try and get it back. Emerson on the other hand will obsesively gard the toy and would fight to the bitter end to keep control of it, just for the principal of personal possessions.

At home though it is a different story. Isaac is still not assertive but is very agressive with Emerson over what he deams to be his stuff. If Emerson takes a toy of Isaacs, fist start flying and he screams and crys like a baby. What perplexes me though is that he knows Emerson is stronger, but he will regularly take his things almost begging for a fight. I can't figure this one out for the life of me. The challenge is that once they get going they are pretty evenly matched. Fortunately they are both getting better at using their words which can prevent a lot of the problems in the long run. It will be nice when Isaac trust his voice and can speak clearer.

Speaking of speaking, he is comming a long way but has a long way to go still. When he came home the only phase he could say was "I don't know." Now he rattles off sentances and songs, but unforuntately it is still very difficult to understand him and he gets lazy with running his words together. He is already getting shy about speach. If I ask him to slow down and repeat him self, he shuts down. This worries me, because as a teacher the harest kind of kid to teach is the one that won't try. Hopefuly his confidence will start to grow in this regard.

We are also struggling with Isaac seeking negative attention. I have expereinced this with at risk teens but never with someone so young. Isaac knows the basic rules of the house now. He knows he must ask to get down from the table, he knows he can't throw toys in the house and he knows he can' dump his drink or plate becase he doesn't like what is on/in it. Regardless though he will look strait at me or John and dump out a glass of water because he wanted milk, or he will throw a christmas ordimate across the room and laugh when it smashes. It is like he way of garenting that he will get some attention and one on one time and he doesn't seem to care that it is negative. It happens when we are busy, or when I have to take care of someone else and I get it, he needs more of me. The frustrating thing is that I am one person who works 50+ hours a week, has food to prepare, a house to keep clean a garden to grow, a husband to love and two children.

While we have come a long way, we still have a long way to go.