I recognize that in my past days I was one to up and move, just because I felt like it. Sometimes, it was a big move, like the time I decided to go from bring a ranger at Sequioa Kings Canyon NP in California, to working at an Environment Education Center in the Catskills of New York, sometimes it was moving every semester during collage. During that time, I could also fit everything I owned in my jeep or on the bike and kayak rack. It was fun. I got to see the country, really get to know an area and I learned lots.
And...
I am not in that stage of my life anymore. Moving now is a pain in the tosh, and just the thought of it makes me want to suck my thumb in a dark corner while rocking back and forth. So, when I say that I have itchy feet, it does not mean the same thing that it used to mean for me. Yes, in my past when I was flying solo, it is totally what I would do when I felt like life needed a little spicing up. This is not my idea of fun anymore.
Now, I am in a new phase, and the seasoning I need is different. I do feel like I am standing in my kitchen wondering what spice a great dish really needs, and not knowing what to use. I just know it needs something. Parts of me think it is another child to adopt, a puppy, an exchange student.. Who knows.
For now though, I might just be in the phase of life that is not about my own spice. Maybe I am the facilitator for our next generation, being my students and my children. Maybe I am supposed to be grounded now so that I can learn loads about the intricacies of gardening and living of the land. Maybe it is to really take a close looks at the innards of a school district and a teaching job that constantly adds to my professional depth.
I do know this, all of my past experiences have been for a purpose. I do not believe in accidental meetings, knowledge gained, or experiences. For now, we are rooted, and we know that this new phase of life, is leaving us with cravings, but I suspect what comes next is a flavor we have never experienced before.
Wow - I was (am) just like that! Before I finally bought a house (at age 32) I had moved 15 times in just about as many years. And I loved the fact that everything I own would fit into the back of my pickup truck - or at least a Uhaul trailer. And my only responsibility was my cat who also was a good traveler. I will admit that I sometimes have mini panic attacks thinking too much about all the little livelihoods that I am responsible for now. I have also had several distinct - and very different - phase in my life from beach bum to backpacker to grad student to corporate girl and more in between. In any case, I've been thinking the same thing - that I'm ready for a new phase to begin. I don't yet know what that means either. I would certainly like a third but haven't been able to talk my hubby into it yet. I fantasize about moving to a new city but we have it really good here right now at least for the next several years. I wouldn't mind getting a "farmette" - or a little piece of property in the country, but we don't plan on being here forever and the thought of buying something more than an hour away is too much for our busy lives. Perhaps a new career is in order... one that gives me more flexibility to be home with the kids (although my current employer is pretty good even though it is an 8-to-5 office job with some travel). Now to figure out exactly what that is and whether we can make the lifestyle change as a family... Maybe I'll take your advice and keep my eyes and ears open to a wonderful coincidence!
ReplyDeletep.s., the last few times that I felt ready for a big change I quit my job and went to Russia in the Peace Corps or I quit my job and moved across the country for grad school. That was before I was married. Although the kids would think a bold move was a grand adventure, I'm not so sure my risk-averse husband would agree!
ReplyDeleteI am feeling a bit this way too. Although I kind of know what I want to do but am unsure of how to get there. I also know that it is something that cannot be done now. I am looking for little steps I can take to move toward the life I see us living. I have never been one to make giant leaps and extreme changes so this is new territory for me. Hopefully we will all find that place/journey/experience we need and are meant to have.
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