One of my characteristics (some might feel is a flaw) is that I seem to be plagued with hopeless optimism when it comes to my ability to make a difference in the lives of my students. I regain this feeling every time I have a break, and usually just over the weekend. I come back to work with this renewed energy, that fuels me to create innovative ways to inspire my students to give a rip about the subject I am teaching. For the most part my students are amazing. They rise up when I give them the chance and a boost here and there.
This week I have pored my soul into the start of our unit on Space. So much so, that I even had my students choreographing "Moon, Earth, Sun" dances showing the relationship between the three. I felt like a good teacher and person.
Well, this morning turned out to be the morning of "crushing souls and depleting spirits." I can't really go into too much detail here, but what I will say is that I am not sure where and why parents get the feeling that all students are strait A kids. I got lambasted today and my professionally questioned because a student earned a B+ in one of my classes.
What saddened me most about the whole situation is that over and over again I hear from families that their goal for their child in my room is to make an A's. Not to learn, not to improve, not to solve a problem, or to be kind, or to develop their skills, or really anything other than getting an A.
An "A" in my room is above and beyond. It means that you did much more that I asked of you. You can read between the lines, you put extra touches on a project that I did not ask, you sent your lab conclusion about the health of the river to the Mayor. That is A work, and quite frankly by the time a kid gets in middle school it is very unlikely they can pull that off in every subject every time. Guess what, most people are not A+ people in everything they do. One more little secret is that that is OK.
I grew up in a non traditional academic environment where I was taught to push my self, and that the content and application of that content was the goal. My father did not stress about letter grades and in fact he would show disappointment in me if I got all A's rather than taking advanced classes and getting C's.
What is hard though is knowing that a kid is learning and that they are improving and to have to sit in a room for 45 minutes having my skills and professionality questioned because of 1% point, because I ruined someone strait A status. To me it seems like that would be similar to be ticked off your kid only makes $999,999 a year rather than $1 million.
It just felt lousy for so many reasons. Tomorrow is a new day, and I am sure my optimism will return soon. I will continue to push and pull my students and hopefully inspire them to take their work above and beyond what is required and stretch their imagination to seeing success as many more letters that one.
I've been there, as I am sure all good teachers have. You've described what is, unfortunately, a pretty typical parent. I once had a parent question whether or not I was even teaching because her 9th grade daughter got a B in an advanced algebra class. The parent stated in the same breath that her daughter had never been very good at math (she wanted to take an advanced class mainly for appearances, not because she wanted a challenge) and had had a bad attitude toward math for years. Logically, therefore, she expected her daughter to get an A. ??? Like the parent you talked with, she really didn't care if her daughter was learning, was paying attention, was trying, etc., or really even if I was teaching. She only cared about the "consequences" of the B. Yes, the student had gotten a B and even a C before, but that was "only because she'd had a bad teacher," of course. But the B I "gave her" was going to ruin her GPA and surely her life.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to feel like crap when talking to a parent like that. Try not to let a parent's unreasonable expectations for his or her child translate into unreasonable expectations for yourself. You're pouring your heart and soul and time into your job and your students. You are not responsible for their parents' neuroses.
A couple of years ago, I read a pretty good book by Alphie Kohn called Punished by Rewards. I agreed with a lot of what he wrote, but he didn't offer much practical advice for a teacher who works in a traditional school. Still, it was a worthwhile read.
Hope you feel better.
Although not a teacher, I hear you Karon! I actually had to go to a teacher once and tell them it was OK to give Matthew a poor grade on something which he obviously didn't put his best effort into. They were so used to having parents gripe and accuse that they just automatically gave every kid a little higher grade than they deserved. I guess that kept parents off this teacher's back.
ReplyDeleteParents today, in general, DO think their kid is an "A" student no matter what, and that they all have what it takes to succeed in college. They also think they all should be the star pitcher or quarterback on their sports teams. Push, push, push little Johnny.
The sad part is that kids don't learn to be self-motivated, everything is handed to them, and they miss out on the joy of doing a really good job and knowing it was their very best. They don't learn to evaluate themselves honestly, and this leads to all kinds of problems later on.
I have read the book mentioned above, and it speaks perfectly to this. We don't let our kids fail, or be second best, we reward them for non-success or no effort. They are always seen as "perfect".
It's never about the actual learning anymore, it's all about how it looks to the outside world or on a report card. Who cares if the kid actually understands the concept, as long as they still get an A. So, so sad.
I don't know how you do the job you do.